Two Date in One Day and More of Mr. International

This past Wednesday, I went on two mini dates.  I had lunch with Nugget Master, and of course, we get McDonald’s chicken nuggets.  He showed up at the wrong McDonald’s and was late so I went ahead and ordered.  I had an important meeting right after lunch, so I couldn’t stay.  I joked about how his “wife” must not be letting him out so that’s why he has to do lunch dates with me.  The previous time I saw him was nearly 2 weeks prior and we also did lunch.  It’s so odd.  Nugget Master and I kissed a bit. He grabbed some coffee, told me that I’d better get going if I’m to make my meeting on time.  He reminded me that we’ll be seeing each other on Sunday.

Then later that same day, before the workday even ended, I met up with Mr. International in the lobby of his work building.  His work is directly across from the office space that I work out of.  He has been super chatty over text.  He shows urgency in being there on time and we chatted in the lobby during his working hours for a good 45 mins.  Mr. International is someone that is fiercely loyal and has a handful of very close friendships.  What kind of scares me about him is that he seems to not have a problem “taking down” other people who somehow hurt or offend those who are close to him.  For example, he told me about an incident where he found out his friend’s boyfriend cheated on her and he went ahead and deregistered him from his own school.  And another incident where he was head of his school’s student council and went to great lengths to make the school dances profitable.  When he did make the dances profitable, he felt justified in garnishing these profits.  I’m not the most ethical person, but not knowing him and having him admit these things makes me a bit apprehensive.  I did not kiss Mr. International as I left.  I can sense that he kept this to a minimum since he was in the lobby of his work office.

Mr. International goes through great lengths to see me.  I told him that I’m working late, and he offered to bring me dinner.  I politely declined but made plans to see him Thursday night instead.  Mr. International is quite available actually, and even goes through lengths to text me while he is out doing his favourite activity – archery tag.  Thursday night, Mr. International rushes over to my place immediately after work and doing his work group run.  We ordered and ate dinner, he helped me do a bunch of handyman things such as fix my clocks to the right time and put up my new shower curtains, watched a movie together and gave me a massage.  He asked me to take off my shirt for the massage and I obliged.  He unhooked my bra and now, here I am just topless.  He asked if he should take my pants off and it’s kind of difficult to take pants off without exposing myself.  I was game anyway.

After the massage, I turned around in the nude to kiss him.  We made out with me naked and him fully clothed.  I said it seems kind of unfair that he is still fully clothed and he quickly took his shirt off.  Mr. International is hot!  He is slim and very toned with a darker skin tone, which I find attractive.  We moved things to the bedroom.  Mr. International is overall a very giving kind of guy.  He is very selfless in bed, which is very different than what I am used to.  He went down on me, and he let me do what I wanted, and he wanted to make sure that I came before he finished.  It was very hard for me to come because Mr. International is very much on the gentle side.  Finally, when he was behind me I really felt it building.  It wasn’t an intense orgasm but it was enough to get me off.  He couldn’t tell that I was finished, so I had to tell him after the fact.  I loved when he orgasmed inside me and I could feel his convulsions, that is seriously so sexy!

We cuddled afterwards and I told him it was great.  He wasn’t so sure of his performance and I think he felt good that I said that.  I told him I thought he was really sexy and he said he thought I was too.  Mr. International stayed the night.  He’s so respectful and treats me like a man ought to treat a woman that he desires.  He woke up early so that he could walk home (he’s a walker) and take a shower before going to work.

Since we worked close to each other, I could have got up and walked with him too but I was so exhausted!  I went back to sleep for another hour and half.  He messaged me and told me he left his fitness tracker.  Of course he did.  It was clearly an attempt to see me again.  I’m fine with that.  He said he wasn’t feeling so well and thought that maybe he could have got me sick.  I told him if I’m sick then it’s on him to help me feel better.

I like Mr. International a lot.  And things seem to be going well.  He seemed very open to the idea of me coming over again on Saturday and even meeting one of my dogs (I don’t think he’s ready to meet both of them yet).  I’m inclined to cancel on Sunday and maybe pull the “I’m sick” excuse with Nugget Master.  Nugget Master hasn’t even messaged me and I feel like it’s just not going anywhere.  I’ve now been dating him for nearly a month and he has really turned cold on me recently.

Where is The Photographer?  He’s still strung up on his ex-girlfriend and has been even more MIA than ever.  Whenever I do message him (and it’s always me first these days), his answers are short and curt.  I think he wants to keep the window open for me, but at this time doesn’t even want to engage.  I’m not even banking on this guy anymore.  But if he does so happen to come back at this moment in time, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t consider dropping everything to be with him.

The other thing that I’ve been thinking about is falling in love again.  There is this thought in the back of my mind about whether I could ever fall like I had for the loves of my life.  I don’t feel that way about any of the guys that I’ve dated recently.  I do wonder if I’m capable of loving someone that much again.


Glad I Found Mr. International

Sunday night, Nugget Master finally gets back to me and tells me that his phone was lost.  He said he was sad that he couldn’t communicate with me.  I was already on my way to having dinner with my family, so I told him that I couldn’t have beers with him.  Even as I said that I knew that he had no intentions of going out with me that evening.  He said that we’ll see each other soon.

Okay, so I figured great, he hasn’t ghosted me, and he’s back on the grid!  That’s good.  We chatted a bit today and he seemed his usual self.  We even recapped what we did over the weekend.  I told him about a few events coming up and he seemed interested in a few.  I signed us up for a food demo that includes free food, and he was obliged to give his last name.  The conversation seemed to drift off a bit, and I was focused on a new Tinder man, Mr. International.

Mr. International started talking this past weekend.  He is talkative and I liked that he spent a lot of time at home this weekend as opposed to out doing all sorts of crazy things, or just a mystery altogether like the other two that I’ve been talking to.  He seemed open about himself and disclosed a lot.  We had some very good dialogue and he works close to me.  We were going to go for dessert only, but he made it a dinner date.  We had such good conversations online that I didn’t hesitate to take him up on it.

I was nervous, but felt instant chemistry with Mr. International.  Mr. International is a mix of many ethnicities including Filipino, Chinese, South African and Caucasian.  He doesn’t look totally exotic and he looks mainly Asian.  He’s hot and he’s fit.  On his Tinder profile it said he’s looking for someone to go running with… is that me?  I don’t know.  I’m only mildly interested in running.  He’s already invited me to go do archery tag with him, and there are few physical activities that I would say no to, but this may be one of them.  He seems way more athletic than me, which is fine minus the fact that he seems to want someone to do these athletic activities with.  Our sports of choice do not have much overlap.

After dinner, there were leftovers and he asked if it was weird if he dropped it back off at his place.  I said not at all, thinking that we would just drop it off, but actually I ended up coming up.  He’s very into his YouTube videos and we watched some comedy show – totally up my alley.  He had a lot of stuff, athletic gear, etc at his place.  He said he was moving soon.  We were messing around with his athletic gear and he took the liberty to show me his archery bow, which I thought was really impressive.  I used to do a ton of archery back in high school, but archery tag is a whole different game.  I played with some of his random sporting gear, and he approached me and we hugged.  I jumped on him as a playful gesture – and later when we grabbed dessert, he said that me jumping on him was very much a tease and a very sexual gesture.

Oops, I guess I did it again.  I’m very much attracted to him!  At the same time, I had no intentions of having sex with him.  I’m also on my period.  He kissed me on the couch and wow he is a good kisser!  I stopped him and said we should probably get dessert.

So we walk to get dessert.  At dessert, he told me some very interesting stories about himself.  I showed an interest to all of the bad things that he has done, so I encouraged these stories from him.  I’m not so sure they were good stories to share on a first date, but that’s on me.  He is mischievous, not unlike myself.  Anyway I think he really enjoys telling these stories anyway.

The dessert bill comes and I was thinking that I would get the bill, but rather embarrassingly the place only took cash and I didn’t have any!  He had to grab the bill for dessert.  He did not seem to mind at all.  I thanked him maybe one too many times and he said that it would be the courteous thing to do, especially should he see me again.  I could tell he thought highly of me and was attracted to me too.

He walked me to a subway station where I refilled my bus pass, and waited with me for the bus.  He hugged me for a really long time, and I felt like a high school couple just hugging each other in the middle of the street.  As the bus came, we kissed and he asked me to text him when I got home.

I really like Mr. International.  I texted him when I got home and we chatted for a bit.  He seems really into me and thinks that I’m hot.  Fuck, I love that kind of attention.  I’d like to keep him around.  The Photographer and Nugget Master have been MIA so I’m so glad to have found Mr. International.  I’m not shutting the door on these two guys yet, but they need to get their shit together.


I’m Shook

I’ve been really into rock climbing since Volleyball Coach and I have broken up.  I’ve been doing it almost weekly and I’m just so in love with it.  So today I went to the rock climbing gym and my usual climbing crew met some others who were there, one was a guy who was filming us.  I asked hm to share the videos with me since I actually have no videos of me climbing.  He said he’d post it to a Facebook group of his, which he invited us to.

I took a quick glance at the Facebook group and turns out, one of the admins on the group is the girl who was one of my best friends and then slept with my ex-boyfriend of four years! I immediately left the group, and felt distraught about it.  Honestly, her hooking up with my ex-boyfriend at the time didn’t seem like it impacted me very much since I was over him.  But the more I started thinking about it today, I became even more pissed at her.  I’ve always acknowledged that I was angry with her for betraying me, but when I started feeling like she is now interfering with my favourite activities, it made me really angry.  I don’t want to go climbing and accidentally bump in to her one of these days!  I would rather bump into any one of my ex-boyfriends than run into her.  I have no words for what she did to me.  I’ve said before that I didn’t blame her, because she did what she did without thinking, and that’s kind of the person that she is.  She deserves my ex-boyfriend because he was also like that too.  This rock climbing thing though, I think that it bothers me more.  Rock climbing is my sport, and now I feel like she’s tarnished it a bit.

So I’m thinking about that tonight and feel shook about it.  I guess I’m leaving out the part that one of the married guy (from my craziest night ever post) was also rock climbing with us and he seemed to be looking out for me the whole time!  I loved the attention, I really did, except that he was married.  Is it wrong to enjoy a married man’s attention?  Probably, especially if you know the wife.  I just liked the way that he looked out for me and tried to get me to accomplish more with my rock climbing and during dinner he was very attentive towards me.  So, I want a man like that… except I’d want one that doesn’t go and give this attention to other girls too.

I also can’t sleep now because I feel shook about the Facebook group incident.  I wonder if I’m overreacting.  There’s been a lot of things.  So The Photographer and I are cooling things off and I’m chatting with him much less, since he’s still not over his ex-girlfriend.  And Nugget Master has been MIA for two days now!  Both of these Tinder guys seem very hot and cold.  At least with The Photographer I know what happened, but with Nugget Master, it seems like he’s ghosting me.  It bothers me, yes, but I also wasn’t particularly attached to either of these guys – thank god for that!  It will ruin my night, but I’m really glad that I’m not heartbroken.  I’ve seen both of these guys four times and we’ve been having some very frequent and intense conversations.

I started talking to a new guy from Tinder that seems interesting.  He works close to me, and he seems talkative, well travelled and intelligent.  I was doing a lot of swiping today.  It also hit me that I’ve now swiped all of the guys on OKCupid and Tinder… so what am I to do now?  Have I actually depleted my pool of online dating options?  Do I need to go and do a double-take on the guys that I may have accidentally swipe left on?  Am I out of options?  This has never happened before.

I was really hoping that Nugget Master would come back and be this sexual fling (and possibly more) since he did seem to adore me.  And wait around a bit to see if The Photographer comes around in a few months.  That was my plan, but seems like I might have to make other back-up plans.  I’m thinking of checking in with Nugget Master tomorrow again.  We originally were supposed to go for drinks tomorrow.  Let’s see if he is actually ghosting me, it just seems so odd.  I went back in our conversations and everything was going strong until he started making excuses about how he is sick.


Everyone Has Baggage

There was a point when I was dating both The Photographer and Nugget Master where I felt that maybe one of these contenders would work out for me.  I loved seeing the both of them typing their messages out to me on WhatsApp and I enjoyed the excitement of juggling two guys who I liked in very different ways.  I also felt that dating two guys was a bit of an emotional safety net.  It’s funny that I thought that my worry was if I was in the situation where I was intimate with both guys at the same time – but now it’s the opposite problem.  There is no action at all.

Now, I just feel that maybe the initial excitement has died down and both guys are pulling back in their own ways.  I don’t foresee myself seeing The Photographer in the next little while as he gets his life together and figures out his feelings around his ex-girlfriend.  I think that it was a really heavy break up that will take him months to get over.  I think that if he can get over this emotional trauma, that maybe there is a chance we can continue seeing each other.  I feel confident that he knows that there is something special with us.

In some ways I almost think of the situation as if I can go and take some risks and have some fun dating other guys and ideally in a few months The Photographer will come back and we can pick-up where we left off.  I turn to Nugget Master for this fun time, and he has been MIA this whole week!  The beginning of the week, he cancelled our date because he had the flu.  Then, two days ago, he said he couldn’t chat because he was prepping for a big interview / presentation and he’s been replying very sporadically now.  He seems really inconsistent to me now, and here I thought he was coming on quite strong, but as I thought back he would indicate that he wasn’t really down for sexual activities, like when he came over and he took my clothes off but didn’t take it further because he didn’t bring condoms.

It just seems really odd actually. His need for privacy (his WhatsApp settings, iMessage setting, privacy screen) combined with his seemingly reluctance to have sex.  It makes me think that there is someone else in the picture.  He literally took off all of my clothes and didn’t have sex with me.  He was coming to my place on a third date, we’ve already made out, and he didn’t bring condoms.  All things together makes it suspicious.

The more I think about The Photographer, and my Tinder experience as a whole, I think about why I’ve been having a difficult time dating.  I think that I prefer guys who are a bit more experienced, and have been in other relationships before.  I find it attractive when a guy knows what he is doing, but on the other hand, a man that knows what he is doing has more experience, and it is occurring to me that experienced guys have baggage.

When I left my ex-boyfriend of four years, he most definitely has baggage because of me.  I know it.  I was his first love, and the way he begged and cried for me to take him back and to this day, he I still don’t think that he is fully into the girl that he is dating. The list goes on.  The MBA guy had serious baggage when I liked him, he kept a toy cat that was given to him by an ex-girlfriend.  The Traveller, when I met him just exited a long-term relationship with basically his common-law (girlfriend who he has been living with in two countries for four years).  Socks Jock, well hew as just seven years younger than me, and he had drug issues so that doesn’t count – although to make a point, when we were together he didn’t hold back, we lived each moment with little reservation.  Mystery man had major baggage and was not over his first girlfriend and kept many things around including a necklace and tiger balm.

Honestly, what grown adult does not have baggage?  Hell, I have a ton of baggage (mainly from dating Mystery Man).  But I guess my point is that I should probably avoid the guys that seem to have baggage is I guess what I’m trying to say.

The Photographer Has Tons of Baggage

The Photographer has generally been MIA and it’s been hard because I like him most of out of all the guys. Last night I half-jokingly invited him over close to midnight knowing he was at a pub nearby. He declined saying that he had to drive his friends home. He instead invited me out to lunch the next day. What? Who goes on lunch dates during a weekday. He said he was working an evening shift so he had time in the morning. I felt like it was so odd to ask me out during the day. I feel like I’m basically getting whatever is leftover from his schedule.

I initially opposed because I was working at my client’s office today. Luckily my client didn’t need so much work to be completed, so I left early. I figured since the stars aligned that I would see if he was still up for it. He was and picked me up again in his fancy car. I thought he had plans, but he didn’t. I picked Greek for lunch.

For some reason it felt like a first date. We were inquisitive about each other and because of that he opened up and started talking about his ex-girlfriend. I know that he had recently been in a relationship and wasn’t entirely over it. He recapped the drama that was his last relationship. I didn’t mind because I actually felt that it was something he needed to get off his chest, and he wanted me to understand where he was coming from. As he closed out on his story, he said to me that he knows it’s not fair for me to be seeing him when he has so much baggage and it hasn’t been so long ago since he was still in a relationship.

I wasn’t sure whether that meant that we should stop seeing each other, so I asked him that. He said that it’s up to me whether I still wanted to see him. I asked him whether he thinks it can go anywhere, and he said no, not at this time. I’m conflicted, but I keep it together. It’s not like I was committed to him or anything like that either.

We get back to my place and I joke about using tarot cards to figure out how we should proceed. He said that mentally, he knows we should be together and that I’m such a great catch but he feels like it is too soon for him. I tell him that I think that if he isn’t 100% feeling it, then maybe it isn’t meant to be. He spoke a lot about his ex-girlfriend and how we seemed totally different, and I wondered out loud whether his ex-girlfriend is maybe just his type – he disagrees and was almost offended.

We cuddled a bit, and as he had to leave for work, I wondered where we were going with this. He said he didn’t mean to have this conversation so soon, but he did feel like he was stringing me along. I said that we should just stop seeing each other for a month or so, and then when he’s ready we can give it a shot. He wondered out loud – what if I’m already with someone? And I didn’t want to say, “Well, then that’s too bad for you” – but he knew I was thinking it and verbalized it for me.

I’m too traumatized being with someone that could not be with me 100% (Mystery Man), that I just simply cannot do that again. I would want him to want it. He is far from being ready. He even tells me that he goes out everyday because he doesn’t want to just stay home and be depressed. He’s still heartbroken and mourning.

I feel that I’m glad that I’m not entirely emotionally invested in this relationship. The more I think about it, the more I think I should stop seeing him. We continue to chat, and it’s nice, but I’ll stop inviting him over. I kind of hate that I like him as much as I even do.

So we talked about it this evening and I gave it a serious thought. He was confused about what I wanted to do now that he has come clean about his situation. He thought that I didn’t want to talk anymore. I said let’s just keep it friendly and I enjoy chatting so why not? I can sense his relief. And I said that I don’t want him to feel obligated and he seems to need space so let’s give it some distance. I think he was really glad that I listened to him and he thinks that I “get” him. I felt really good to give him what he needs and I felt really mature about it all.

I have my own thing and he understands that I’m not obligated to him. I can already sense his attitude towards me softening. There seemed to be a bit of tension between us before but after we spoke, I feel good. He can take his time, but it won’t be on my watch. I’m free to do as I please and I have a feeling he will come around at some point.

Keeping The Dating Options Open

I was starting to get a bit annoyed at The Photographer for not spending enough time with me.  Saturday I asked him on a whim to come over, and he was busy and there seemed to be no future plans either despite us continuing text a lot.  I told him I was making broth in preparation for a dinner on Sunday.  He said he had to work this weekend, and had an MRI scan at the hospital and dinner with friends that day.  He seems so engrossed with this group of friends and it doesn’t seem right that he doesn’t seem to be around.

So I’m chatting to The Photographer on Saturday and all of a sudden he tells me to come downstairs from my condo!  Turns out, he surprised me by showing up and dropping off some of the ramen that he made, and he also brought me ginger, which I said I was missing in my broth!  How spontaneous, and thoughtful is that?  I climbed into his car and kiss him a few times.  He said he’s running tight for his MRI now so it was a very quick drop-off.  I’m so easily wooed.

Nugget Master and I continue to text and he wanted to do something more physical on Tuesday such as axe throwing or rock climbing.  I agreed, but then I realized that I will be on my period.  I feel like he wants something physical to happen between us so I made it a point to mention that it will be my time of the month this coming week for two reasons – because I don’t like to do physical activities and I wouldn’t be able to have sex if that’s what he’s thinking.  I think it’s good timing because I want to hold off for a bit.  I kind of want to see how The Photographer pans out.  He’s super sweet and understanding, although I didn’t ask whether we had plans to do anything else.

Oh, and I almost forgot that I went on a brand new first date with a guy that I started chatting with on OKCupid.  I’ll name him the Wolf Catcher because he is a scientist and recently went out to catch wolves on a helicopter – how fascinating!  We met for coffee and he asked me to suggest a spot.  When I met him, I thought he was super short!  He was practically my height and I’m 5’1” (155cm).  That is really a huge turn off for me.  He looks exactly as I thought he would, laid back and casual.  I paid for the coffees and his croissant although he offered.

Wolf Catcher and I had a good dialogue.  I thought it was interesting listening to him passionately talk about his work.  He did ask me about my work, but I think he enjoys doing more of the talking.  I’m just not sexually attracted to him, and there really isn’t that spark, so while I’ve texted him since we met up, I don’t think there’s anything there.  I’m just trying to keep my options open.

Overall, I’m trying to keep the door open for new contenders, and trying not to hone in too much on either The Photographer or Nugget Master, but I admit that I like the both of them a lot.  I met The Photographer first and I’ll see how it goes but I can see that his time with me is running out unless he can give me something more than what is going on right now.  I’m hesitant to move it along with Nugget Master because I still feel like he is my number two choice.  He is my number two choice not because I met him second, but because I feel like he loves the chase and really likes me in a very superficial kind of way.  In general, I think that he is a very superficial kind of guy and I cannot see him actually committing.  Where I can see The Photographer being genuine, and being upfront about wanting to take things slow, I just think that Nugget Master is more of a guy that doesn’t have as much foresight and is just living in the moment.  I’m not sure if Nugget Master can be that long-term guy for me.

I also think that if I sleep with Nugget Master, which we’ve been very close to doing once already, I’m not sure if it would be right for me to go back to The Photographer and continue to wait around to see where it could go?  I’m not sure how I feel about being sexually active with two men at the same time!  I’ve given this some thought lately, and particularly about my past relationships.  I feel like I’ve been shafted by a lot of guys because many of them were ready to commit to me, yet I stopped seeing other guys and committed to them.  They never used the term “girlfriend” to describe me, yet I was monogamous to them.  If there were any relationship where I felt that I wish I had done more shopping, it would be the one with Socks Jock.  He wasn’t committed to me, even though I was the only person he was seeing.  I was never official and he never used the term “girlfriend”.  I was sexually active with him, and in retrospect I wish that I continued to look elsewhere.  More than half the time it was a long distance relationship where he was in another country anyway.  Anyway, it’s kind of a reflection of my experience and kind of my way of avoiding the same situation again.  I think I could have better used my single time to find guys who are willing to make me official and this time I don’t want to make the same mistake.


Third Date (and Fourth Date) with Nugget Master

Third date with Nugget Master and he suggested the he come over.  I got him to install some lights for me, because I may as well!  He came over and we picked up our kissing almost right away.  He seems to really enjoy kissing and at first I could tell he wasn’t so impressed by my shy kisses, but we eventually got into it and made out.  I’ve not been with a guy that likes to make out in SO LONG that I really started to believe that men do not like making out.

He installed the lights for me, they were the smart lights that changes colours and so we had a lot of fun playing around with that.  I ordered barbecue, which in retrospect was a really unsexy choice of food, but so what?  I wanted barbecue.  He didn’t eat much and so I felt inclined to stop as well.  I got a business call that lasted nearly thirty minutes, and he was nice about it and even boxed up the food and put the light cover back on – efficient!  We continued making out, we joked a bit about going to the gym and he said he didn’t bring any condoms, but brought me to the bedroom anyway.  We continue to make out and he took my clothes off and at this point the wine was getting to me (oh yeah, he brought a bottle of wine) and I was just going with the flow.

He went down on me and again, it has been SO LONG since anyone has gone down on me!  Think like, nearly a year!  Then he flipped me to be on top and had me sit on his face.  We cooled it off realizing that he had no condoms.  He didn’t allow me to take his clothes off.  Actually, I do have condoms at my place from when my dirty ex, Volleyball Coach left it there, but I didn’t want to offer it up.  I do like the anticipation and also, I didn’t want to be sexually active with two guys.

We keep it together and ended up watching some Netflix.  He said he didn’t want to leave me, but it was getting late.  He wanted to spend more time with me and kept asking me when he could see me next.  We talked a bit about how I was going to have a stressful day the next day at work because I had to fire an employee.  I joked about having him come mentally support me, and I can’t recalled who suggested lunch but he seemed very up for doing lunch the next day.  He told me that he thought I was so sexy.

Next day comes around and Nugget Master takes the subway to have lunch with me.  We got Caribbean food, and we did a bit of shopping.  He’s so sweet.  I think he really wants to portray that he likes me for me and really wants to get to know me.  This is so different from the Nugget Master that I first talked to online who seemed to be very sex-driven.  I think he has really softened up.  That night over text, we played this game upon his suggestion, where we ask each other questions.  It was a cute and really thoughtful game.

I’m still talking to The Photographer, but I just don’t feel like our connection is as strong anymore, although I’ve accepted it and it doesn’t really bother me.  Before my third date with Nugget Master, The Photographer was talking about other online dating apps and he said it’s good to keep options open and here he is going on about how I should keep options open again.  It pisses me off because I thought we had something special.  I told him via text that actually, he doesn’t need to keep pushing me away and that I’m actually seeing someone else.  He was a bit appalled, and said that he wasn’t seeing anyone else or talking to anyone else other than me since we’ve met.

I told The Photographer that he doesn’t seem so serious about me, and until someone is going to tell me that they want to focus on just me and is committed then I will continue  keeping the door open.  He wanted to know if he really was the first guy that I’ve slept with in a really long time and I said yes, that is the case.  I know that he wants me to wait around for when he is ready, but I’m so done with being with guys like that!  And also, I’m not sure if I like him that much at this point because he hasn’t been spending the time.  We went out on Monday night, and there is no plans of meeting up again any time soon.  His life is just full of cooking for and meeting up with friends, working (even some weekends), and his events planning company.  He just seems so immature and reminds me a lot of my younger brother, who is six years younger than me.

I invited The Photographer over on whim this weekend to see if he wanted to see if he wants to try my cooking.  It was unplanned, but I have suggested in the past that I would cook for him and he has never accepted.  He tells me he’s busy all weekend working, meeting with friends and with a few appointments.  This is all very much a big red flag for me and I’m kind of okay to let this go.