Weekend With Mr. International Pt 2

I was having a lot of doubts about Mr. International throughout the week since he didn’t seem so responsive and told me he had all sorts of plans during the weekend.  So Friday night, he told me he might pass by my place because he needed to go to the hardware store.  I said that I also needed to pick-up some toilet paper so we could go together.  So he helped me fill up my gas tank and we went to the hardware store.  He said he would buy me dinner.  He’s very much the kind of guy that wants to take care of me, and likes this idea of buying me dinner, so I gladly accept that.  As I drove him home, I thought I would just drop him off but he directed me to his garage and I came up.  We watched a movie together and he talked about me coming over on Saturday.  I said I thought he was busy, and he said he was only busy during the day.  Huh, so he wants to spend the whole weekend together again!  I was planning to just work through the weekend, but I like this idea better.

Saturday he had plans with his parents and I came over after.  He made me dinner and we just basically killed time together watching another movie and playing some little trivia games together.  We had sex, and it was amazing as usual.  See, in the beginning, I think it’s some kind of fluke that sex was so good with him, but nope, it’s just really good and I can’t explain why, it’s just chemistry.  He passed out immediately after sex, and I eventually fell asleep too.  We got 12 hours of sleep!  Feels amazing.

In the morning, I showered while he made me breakfast.  He is very insistent on doing all of the cooking.  I don’t think he wants me to do any of the cooking.  This is a very new concept to me in a relationship, as cooking was always something that I figured that I brought to the table.  Again, he wants to be the giver.  He doesn’t even let me help him clean up.  I think this is something that took me some time to understand about men.  So instead of insisting to help or give, I just sit back and accept and be grateful for.

He put on another movie in the morning, and I really just wanted to have sex again.  He had a migraine, and when we did have sex again, he said he got a headache when he orgasmed.  Apparently it is a thing for people who have migraines.  So actually both times I had sex with him this weekend, I didn’t orgasm, but it doesn’t make it shitty at all.  This is still one of the best sex I’ve had in my life.  Oh, and I forgot to mention that Mr. International’s kinky side has yet to come out although I found in his drawer when I reached for his condoms that he has a ton of sex stuff.  He has these pocket pussy toys, which he says were gag gifts, and he has these arm and leg cuff things.  I think he was trying to explain some of this to me, because he’s a bit uncomfortable that I saw some of it.

The actual kinky bit, I think that is a turn-on, but I’m not comfortable with him recalling past sexual encounters with previous lovers.  He said he got the cuffs from a previous lover, and has pulled it out for a one night stand before, but he said that he felt it would be disrespectful if he brought it out for me.  I asked if he thought I was a prude, and he kind of gave me this round about answer, which wasn’t offensive but he realizes it’s a touchy subject.  I think I’m a very open minded person when it comes to sex, but I’ve just been with very vanilla people, is that I told him.  Anyway, I told him I’d be down to turn the kink up with him should he want to try things out.

On the other hand, I think that he sees me as someone he respects and is a bit apprehensive to show this side of himself.  I like that he feels that there is potential for me to be more than just a sexual partner, because that’s not what I’m looking for.  I like that I can be myself around him, relax, kick back.  I can wear very casual clothes with him, and feel like a lady.

We plan to go walk the dogs, who have been staying with my parents.  He talks about how much he loves my dog (yes, just one), and I wonder if his emulation of his love for my one dog is really him trying to express how he feels about me.  His exact words, “I know it’s only been a month, or a month and a half, but I am really feeling that I’m in love with you,”.  He said this about my dog.  Tell me that’s not an emulation of his feelings for me.  When he’s actually with my dogs, he shows them a lot of attention, but actually he’s still focused on me.

While walking past the beachside homes, I pointed to the largest house and asked him to buy it for me jokingly.  I recall making that same joke with Mystery Man before.  Instead of laughing, Mr. International said sure!  He then said that he needs to figure out whether he wants to stay at his current position long-term first.  And I think he’s being really serious.  And I also realize some time ago that basically, if he decides to stay at his current job, that he would be looking to settle down and that also means relationship-wise he would more likely be open to letting this get more serious.

So, at this point, I just really have no interest in seeing anyone else.  And if he is going to dedicate his time to me in this capacity then yeah I am also willing to see where this could go too.  I just got my period, and, this weekend basically marks 6 weeks since we’ve been seeing each other.  He already booked movie tickets for next weekend.

I don’t believe that I shouldn’t hedge my bets on this relationship.  There are a lot of things that makes me unsure of him.  While he treats me very well at the moment, he falls into the category of being “my type”, which mean he is an overly confident man who knows how to get his way, and isn’t afraid to manipulate people to do so.  He can be unknowingly flirty.  Despite his juvenile stories, he does come across as someone who has matured and is looking to seriously dedicate time towards a meaningful relationship.

And while I do believe in still keeping my eyes open at this time, I also believe that I also need to put something in to show that I truly would like to see where this could go.  I like Mr. International a lot.  And while I thought I liked Mr. Photographer and Nugget Master, I’m really impressed that Mr. International has shown me that there is better.  Dare, I say it, but I think that I could love him.  Although, at this point in time, I honestly cannot say that I love him.  And that makes me feel good.  I don’t want to be further along this relationship than he is, and at this time I feel comfortable that we both seem to be hand in hand and at the same spot with this relationship.

 

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Is it him or is it me?

I wrote a lot about Mr. International in my last post and this past weekend was really good. The Monday right after the weekend, Mr. International called me and we had a 3 hour conversation. He seemed to be really consistent, even asked me to charge my electric bike so that we can go riding on our silly eco transport devices.

I’ve been thinking about if I can love Mr. International, and I’m not sure. There’s a potential for sure, but as much as I’m smitten sometimes, I’m super apprehensive about him.

We’ve been dating for a month, and to be precise, it would be five weeks. I said I would give it six weeks before I would start taking things seriously. I really feel that six weeks is the magic number of weeks.

I think I’m just so jaded that I freak out whenever I see him back up a bit. So Tuesday evening, I went out with Baseball Guy. I thought it was as friends but it turned out to be a date. He’s still head over heels about me. It’s been two years since we last dated, on my side my feelings have not changed about him. I think he’s nice but how he feels about me gives me the creeps and that night, I even had a nightmare about it.

So anyway, Tuesday I was occupied and didn’t message Mr. International until really late in the evening. He has asked me earlier in the day about going to watch a movie two weeks out. Unfortunately the premier night only had crappy seats so he dropped the topic, so I was let down. I asked him about it later that night but he kind of brushed it off. I felt a bit bad about it and this morning I took more of an initiative. Asked him if he was interested in this event tomorrow. It just seemed that he started making a point to say that he’s really busy this weekend and I took it as a sign that he doesn’t want to hang.

He said that the repairman was coming by again, his parents are visiting and he has to do another evening shift on Sunday. Honestly, I don’t really want to hang with him this weekend either because I’ll likely be on my period and I have so much work to do!

So yeah, I thought it would be nice to see him tomorrow and so the event I suggested was just a lukewarm idea. I also thought of other activities but he just wasn’t taking the bait. He made an excuse about having to go home first to change and he made such a fuss and just said that it’s probably better that he just doesn’t go. I agreed and let him off the hook, but before I did I asked him if he’d like to do anything else instead. He said no!

We’re both clearly free tomorrow evening. “What a piece of crap!”, that’s what I thought in my head. I question whether he’s shutting down on me… And this isn’t the first time. In one of my previous posts, I thought that I would never hear from him again because he didn’t message me in 48 hours.

I’m not sure if he’s hot and cold or whether I’m just jaded.

All about Mr. International

I want to talk all about the weekend with Mr. International. He had not been sleeping well and so we talked about doing a sleep catch up over the weekend. Luckily for me, I was in a mental state that allowed me to be at ease. I came over to his place after his repair guy finished on Saturday. He came downstairs to get me to bring me round to his parking spot, and instinctively helped me carry my bag upstairs.

I was feeling energetic from the lack of sleep and running on adelrenaline. We ended up throwing around the football to exert some energy and headed to the free conference, which he got tickets to. We went around the conference looking for freebies, apparently it’s becoming one of our favourite past times. I bought some underwear. He’s a hot sauce fanatic and we sampled some and he ended up getting some as well. We also had some fun on surfboards and getting our posture checked.

Afterwards, we walked through the underground path. He loves desserts so I pick up some for us. We were waiting for a restaurant to open (because he got a coupon for it). The weather was terrible, hail and snow and the mall we were in is only open during business hours so we sat on abandoned shoe shining chairs. He told me an entertaining story about how he’s been posing as his best friend’s bisexual lover for several years in order to go on work trips with his friend and get into exclusive events. I thought it was entertaining. I think he loves to talk and he loves that I listen to his bullshit stories. I do enjoy them, and for once I’m the listener. Feels nice!

We had dinner in the empty restaurant. Unfortunately his coupon was not accepted, but I had an excellent time. He paid for the dinner and the ride back to his place. I feel like such a lady in his presence, and I don’t even have to dress up to feel that way.

Back at his place, we played some guitar hero and eventually he put on Resident Evil 3. We’ve been watching the movie saga, one of his favourite things, zombie movies and I’m getting into it too, but only with him because otherwise I’m too afraid.

I thought it was odd we’ve not had sex in awhile. He gave me a massage. I make a move and offer to start with a frontal massage but he just comfortably asked if we could just have sex. He does not like hand jobs and only enjoys blow jobs as foreplay. We have sex, missionary and it was amazing. He finished and wanted to pass out immediately.

The plan was to catch up on sleep so we went for 12 hours! This is the first time he’s slept with me and got enough sleep. He suggests “breakfast”, even though we woke up past noon. I really wanted to try this brunch place in his area so we waited an hour for a spot and it turned out to just be alright. I felt bad for him and paid for brunch, and he was so sweet, and said, “you know I would pay right?”. He had found out how I’m tight on money these days and has taken on the provider role. We held hands across the table for a bit.

After brunch, I was now super late for my late lunch plans with a friend. He didn’t know this and I’m playing it cool. He showed me a short YouTube video, honestly his favorite activity. I dropped him off to get his haircut and we parted ways. It was a comfortable parting of ways like we’re definitely going to see each other again.

How Money Affects Dating as a Woman

Since starting my own business and doing it full-time for half a year now, my income has dramatically halved.  It was a choice that I made, but I didn’t realize how it would impact my dating life.  I’ve always been a business woman, on-the-go, doing what I like, when I like, because I could.  If there was a problem, often times I’d just fix it by throwing money at it, like if my dishwasher broke down and it was too time consuming to get it fixed, I’d just buy a new one.  If I wanted to throw an elaborate brunch for all my friends, I would go and rent glassware, buy a few skillets and throw a brunch party at my condo.  And that kind of lifestyle had it’s drawbacks too, but it’s more difficult for someone who doesn’t live that lifestyle to really sympathize.  Looking back, I think that was something that Mystery Man did not necessarily like about me.  And honestly, fuck him for that, but at the time I wasn’t entirely aware of it.  I was just being me.

Being a successful business woman and dating is really hard, and now for the first time in a long time, I’m not entirely financially secure.  My life problems are a bit different and I spend more time scoping out deals, and I don’t have the option to just throw money at problems to fix them.  Apparently, this bodes well for dating, as a woman.  Men love the idea that they can take care of you, and Mr. International falls into that category.

We have gone on two dates now where we somehow score free tickets to a conference / event.  While we’re not entirely into the conference, we’re literally going there to see what freebies they are giving out; t-shirts, water bottles, lotion samples etc.  Another time, I won free coupons for poutine and we redeemed that.  He’s the kind of person that cannot pass up a deal.  He eagerly shows me his stash of lip balms that he bought on sale several years back.  I may have not been so impressed with that in the past, but now I am!  He’s practical.

I stayed over at his place this morning, and he told me about his work and how he has to do some sort of system testing etc.  He talked about it for quite some time.  I listened and then asked him if he’s doing user acceptance testing.  He was so impressed, and called me smart and kissed me!  See, in the past, I would be talking about all sorts of business stuff and of course the guys know that I’m smart.  It was just inherent, and they weren’t necessarily impressed by it.  See, if anything, they were intimidated by it and I felt that I didn’t get the appreciation that I deserved when I came up with smart things.  It was just expected.

I told Mr. International about how money is tight for me now, and I really think he enjoys the idea that he can take care of me, that he can buy me stuff.  And I really do appreciate the gifts.  I mean, I always have appreciated gifts, it’s not about the money, but on the guy’s side, I think it is about money.  It’s like they want to know that their gift means something, and if it’s going to a girl that can buy herself anything, they feel like it’s less appreciated.

I actually have never dated someone who made significantly more money than me.  And since my income has halved, this is actually possible.  I realize the change is not the amount of money that I make, but actually my mentality.  I’m interested in being in a relationship where my partner wants to take care of me and so this change has been quite refreshing.

 

The Spark Is Gone with Mr. Photographer

Mr. International and I talk about which night I will stay over at his place, and we decided on Saturday night.  I was planning to just work Friday night so that I can rest easy on Saturday, and I was surprised when Mr. Photographer asked me out!  As a recap, I really liked Mr. Photographer and he was on the top of my list until he basically told me that he isn’t over his ex-girlfriend and couldn’t see it going anywhere.  I decided to take a hiatus from him for a bit and said that we should take a break from seeing each other, although we continued to chat.

Our chatting frequency started dwindling down a bit once Mr. International entered the picture and I figured that I would focus more on Mr. International rather than someone who is clear and upfront about not being ready for a relationship.

I figured it would take Mr. Photographer quite a bit of time for him to really get over his ex-girlfriend – he seemed deeply disturbed and it was also his first serious girlfriend.  While I continued to chat with him sporadically, I didn’t think anything would come of it.

Well, Friday night and here I am waiting for Mr. Photographer to pick me up for a dinner date.  He asked me out last minute, and I wasn’t so happy about that.  I asked him if I was his plan B.  He was offended, of course, but I do believe him as he explained that he hasn’t been dating.  I suppose his usual social activities did not pan out.  He picked the place and it’s always an enjoyable foodie friendly place.  We went for Japanese izakaya again and this place was loud!  It was a bit difficult to talk and we caught up a bit, but he did not ask me many questions.  I felt like it was me asking him questions like, “So have you been going to the gym?” or, “How have your events been going?”.  I talked a bit about my work stress and he poked fun at me (maybe a bit more than I’d like).  He forgot that I’m lactose intolerant, which was a bit disappointing.  He seems jokingly very critical and while I wasn’t offended, I didn’t like that.  It was a stark contrast to my Mr. International who treats me like a lady.

I got the bill.  I just offered and he didn’t seem too opposed.  I didn’t want to feel obligated because at that point, I wasn’t feeling it.

I’m thinking in my head that he probably just wants to have sex again, because there was no talks about the situation changing, clearly.  And this time, at least on my side, I wasn’t feeling the chemistry as he continued to take jabs at me.  I suggested going on a bit of a walk and there was a large fancy grocery store nearby.  He seemed opposed, but went along with it.  He started getting into it and decided to pick up some random groceries for me, it was fun, but I was thinking about my workload.

He drove me back home and asked if we could watch a movie.  I declined and said I had a lot of work to catch-up on, which is entirely true, but the other part of me was thinking that my time would best be spent doing my work and trying to make some extra money doing phone sex this evening.  I also don’t want to be a bootie call.

I’m surprised actually at how quickly my infatuation with him has just gone away.

Less Sexual with Mr. International

There seems to be a lot of time spent with Mr. International, but he’s seems to be avoiding sex. So Monday night he asks me to come over for dinner. Since I had the dogs, I couldn’t stay over. He didn’t try to initiate sex, so I did but it didn’t really go anywhere.

Wednesday night he starts telling me that he really misses my one dog ( he has a favourite out of my two dogs). I’m confused as to whether he is really into my dogs and wants to see them or if he’s using it as an excuse to see me. I said sure and said that I would make burgers for dinner. He caveated that he couldn’t stay over, which was fine by me.

He purchased dog treats for my dogs and bought me the lighter that I thought was cool. Okay, he totally just went to the dollar store and got goodies for me and the dogs but that was still really sweet. We went for a dog walk after dinner. He gave me a massage and I started to get turned on but he told me to relax. Then, I reciprocated his massage. It really seems like he’s holding out on the sex for some reason. Maybe he wants it to be more of a non sexual relationship, which is sweet. I like him a lot but I’m just scared.

I drove him home and he asked me out again this upcoming weekend and asked if I could stay over on Friday. Wow. I love it.

I don’t know what I think. I like him. I feel like a great deal of it is physical. I also like many things about him such as how he cares about sleeping in, sleeping with proper bedsheets, is organized, seems to have his life together. And yes, I peg him as a player, which is why I’m scared about this progressing but I also know that more recently he had what seems to be a more serious relationship. And it seems that that is the direction in which we are going. I like that he keeps his eyes on me to make sure that he knows what’s going on with my life and who in my life might be potential competition.

Weekend with Mr. International

Mr. International texted back shortly after the 24 hour hiatus.  Seems like he was just busy with the unpacking at his place.  Since my last blog, things have continued as usual with us.  We were both scheduled to work late on the Friday, but my last meeting got cancelled, and he was able to leave work early.  I asked if he wanted to do a coffee break with me, and he decided to swing by my office.  I said I was really hungry and he suggested a quick dinner before I had to head off to meet with my family.  We went back to the restaurant where we had our first date.  At this point, I felt like I’m starting to really like him and had to tell myself to keep it cool.  After dinner, he piggybacked me down the restaurant steps for fun and we went to run an errand for him and he walked me back to my car.  I drove him home and he said if I was free Saturday evening that we could walk my dogs together.

Saturday I twisted my ankle at rock climbing and Mr. International came over, brought me some numbing cream, and helped me wrap the ankle.  We walked the dogs together with me limping and he was really concerned about me putting too much weight on the ankle.  I drove us to a local joint for dinner.  During dinner Mr. International went on to talk a lot about his usual favourite topic, how he lived with six girls during university and how he got a lot of action during these years.  It was interesting to pry a bit into his past a first, but there seems to be this recurring theme now in our conversations.  Although in all fairness, I asked about it to start and now I am hearing almost too much.  It’s not so much a turn-off but the more I hear about it, the more I feel like he’s just a player.

We came back to my place and watched Resident Evil together.  I’m not into horror films, but he seems to like this idea of being the one to comfort me when I get scared so I went with it.  We continued to our usual massage, which didn’t actually continue to sex until we got into bed.  The sex just keeps getting better with Mr. International.  We are now doing a lot of dirty talk during sex and I love it so much.  One thing though that I didn’t mention before about Mr. International was that he’s not really that well endowed, but he just does everything right that it doesn’t even matter.  He’s very into kissing, pleasuring me and dirty talk.  I feel like the chemistry is so strong, I’m so into it.  I didn’t cum Saturday night, but I was so wet and my juices went everywhere.  He was under the impression that I did cum, but I’ll let him have that.  I don’t think it’s misleading because so far he’s been bang on every time and orgasm just didn’t happen that night.

The next morning, we walked the dogs and went back to his place so he could shower.  On the way back to his place something odd happened, and I didn’t think it was odd until a bit later.  We were passing by a beef patty place to pick some up for breakfast (I know, odd choice, but funny thing was that I suggested it and he loved the idea).  So as he went in to pick it up, I realize that I had forgotten to bring my phone!  So as I’m debating whether I should head back home to grab it, he comes out and tells me that he saw that I had forgotten my phone at my place and grabbed it for me.  My initial reaction was, “Oh, that’s so sweet of you!”, but then after I thought about it, I find that it was weird that he would grab my phone from my place, and then not mention it or return it until we drove to the patty place and I mentioned that I forgot it.  I wondered if he went through my phone?  It’s locked, but my pattern lock isn’t the most secure.

The only other person that I am still talking to on Tinder is this guy who had matched with me about a week ago.  He seemed like an active person, but what threw me off was the lack of communication via text – and he wanted to meet up.  I called off the Saturday morning date quite late on Friday.  There’s just no connection and he seemed a bit odd.

Anyway, Mr. International and I was at his place, and we had sex again.  Amazing.  He made me cum twice.  We started ditching the condom and I allowed him to go in without one for a bit before he puts one on.  A bit of a risky and bold move I guess, but it was just really hot.  I’ve not had sex this good since The Traveller.  The chemistry between us is intense as hell.  We went to a convention for which I got free tickets for (totally his thing – the deals and freebies).  When we came back to his place, he suggested dinner.  Wow, we just keep going with this guy!  I’m totally down.  He even asked when I’d be available this week so that he can make me dinner.  I didn’t give a definite answer.  He wants me to stay over but I have my dogs.  He even suggested that I can bring my dogs.  We don’t decide on a date, but I think it’s a really big gesture, especially since we’ve spent the whole weekend together already.

We went out to dinner, and again the topic of conversation was his past sexual encounters.  He told me that he talks to his exes, and actually referred a number of them to his workplace.  So, he told me that he’s slept with four people from his workplace.  Isn’t that ridiculous?  Or maybe he’s just being open an honest.  I mean, I’ve slept with a coworker before, and slept in the same bed with another one where nothing has happened.  It’s just not dinner conversation.  He loves talking about his past, and aside from the sexual encounters, I think they are interesting stories.  I can really tell that he enjoys telling me the stories.

See, I wonder though why his past encounters do not work out?  But, do I really care.  I think a bit about whether this can be anything serious.  He seems to be investing a lot of time into me.  And as I’m thinking about how I want him to like me in a serious way, I ask my own self the question of whether I’m serious about him and the crazy thing is that I don’t know.  I think I just want him to like me so much that I’m not even certain whether I like him and maybe that’s what I should be focusing on.  I’m not in love with him, and I’m asking myself whether he is something that I can be in love with.  I don’t know!  I’m still hung up on this theory that one can only have so many loves in their life, and maybe I’ve hit mine.  Can I really love him?

Going into this, I kind of felt that I was keeping The Photographer on the hook as a back-up thinking he’ll eventually come around and if he did that I’d give him a serious consideration since he seems more of the relationship type.  But after the amazing sex with Mr. International, I’m not sure if I could give that consideration to The Photographer.  The Photographer just doesn’t have it in him to be as giving of a lover as Mr. International, and that department is really important too.

On a separate note, I’m starting to feel more confident that maybe I can get regular sex from Mr. International.  I purchased this product called SoftCups that is basically a menstrual cup that can also be used during sex.  I’m so excited to explore sexually with Mr. International.  What I am certain about is that I want to continue dating him to see where it can go.  I have this six week rule, and we haven’t hit even four weeks yet.  The six week rule is that I don’t vest anything into the relationship until six weeks has past.