Emotionally, the break-up with volleyball coach was a relatively easy one for me. I already am starting to feel much better. The thing is that he just didn’t really fit in my life. While I made time for him, I felt like the activities that we engaged in were mundane and unproductive. Things just became more work than it needed to be. For example, if I wanted to take the dogs out for a walk, I can just get up and do that. If I wanted to take the dogs out for a walk with volleyball coach, it feels like an entire ordeal with scheduling and arranging the activity. He wasn’t a just go with it kind of guy.
I don’t think that I’ve ever had more agreement from friends and family that he just wasn’t right for me. My friend Raspberry guy thought that maybe I could have put in more effort, but realized that exiting the honeymoon phase too early was an issue.
Raspberry guy is my platonic former colleague and friend. We get along well. I set him up with one of my girlfriends last year and it didn’t work out. We’re quite close, and I think many mutual friends wonder why we aren’t together. I often wonder this as well, but I just don’t feel like there is anything physical there. I also feel like as I get older, my group of friends feel like it is dwindling and I feel like I need him more as a friend in my life.
Drummer guy continues to see me regularly. He is also a platonic friend, since high school actually. I had a crush on him in high school and unlike Raspberry guy, there is definitely something there between us. The on and off messaging between him and I throughout the years is not that of a normal platonic friend. He’s just never made a big enough move on me. Now, I feel like we’re seeing each other more than ever, always coming to each other’s places to watch this comedy series or to play games, or to build furniture. It’s important to note however that Drummer guy just recently started dating someone. I feel like he is weighing his options (with me) for sure though.
I like Drummer guy, and I also feel there is something there, but like in the past, I just feel like he would need to make a bigger gesture. Timing right now is off since he just started seeing someone else. I feel like he’s touchy with me when we are alone and watching shows. I do feel something physical with him for sure. There are things about him that makes me unsure however, and that coupled with his non-direct approach makes me apprehensive. I feel that if he wants to keep me on the sidelines then it would be fair for me to see him in the same light.
Right now, I’m not actively looking to date because I feel immersed in my work. As a budding entrepreneur trying to hold it together, it becomes more difficult to find the time. Also, I feel like I’m only just beginning to feel better from the stomach issues that I’ve been having. I’m also only starting to get back into the groove of things as a newly single woman.
There is however one opportunity that intrigues me. I was at a work conference last week, and I was telling people that I am single. One lady there offered to set me up with her brother. I said I was open to it. She knows that I just recently got out of a relationship, so she said she would give it some time. I’m interested to see how this will pan out.
As for volleyball coach, I decided that mentally, it would just be better for me to not speak to him. Given our paths would not have normally crossed had we not met online, I don’t think it is a good idea for us to maintain any type of connection. It is a burden to think of how I would approach that and I just don’t see the benefit. Mentally, and emotionally, it would just be easier for me. If he went out of his way to maintain a friendship then that’s one thing, but I think he would understand if I didn’t want to be friends.
A close friend of mine told me that part of it is not wasting time on the guys who are not the right ones, to cut the losses short. I’m finding this to be an important lesson in both my personal and professional life. Since starting my business in the last few months, I’ve fired a handful of people after debating whether I should continue with them or not.