At some point in my career as a phone sex operator I decided to dip my toes into the world of webcam modelling. It was really just a test and I’ll speak to that in more details in a later post, but basically I was watching my clients interact on webcam mostly. My clients would purchase my Skype ID for a fee and sometimes I would just chat with them if I felt so inclined. Well there was this one guy whom I chatted to quite frequently and he was nice, and a really normal guy. I actually found him to be quite attractive too.
Long story short, I was going through a sex dry spell and made the irrational decision to fly out to the west coast to meet him. We spoke about it for months prior to and he agreed to take the weekend off work to spend it with me. I really just wanted to have a weekend of physical fun with him and I figured that I wouldn’t get attached because he didn’t stimulate me intellectually.
So I booked the flight and told him that it’s going to happen and he gave me his phone number. We continued to keep in touch until about a week prior when he stopped responding! It was clear that he chickened out, which I guess I don’t blame him. It was my idea to go anyway. I get why he would freak out a bit. He didn’t want to hook up with someone whom he doesn’t know and on top of that, works in the adult entertainment industry. Luckily my trip to the west coast was just a leg in a longer work itinerary. I didn’t mind being a solo tourist, but I was really horny and was playing with the idea of hooking up anyway.
I created a new online profile looking specifically for an intimate encounter in the west coast. I got some responses but there were 2 guys that stood out, one was an above average looking guy who seemed really down-to-earth and the other was an incredibly attractive alpha male who was a cocky porn star. I was very attracted to the porn star, but I was also really intimidated by the fact that he was a porn star. I played it safe and went with the above average guy, lets call him the standard guy. And I also kept the pornstar on hold and said I would see him the next night, just in case standard guy flopped.
Standard guy turned out to be very normal, which further supports my theory that normal guys just want to hook up. We had dinner, went back to the hotel and enjoyed some oral sex. It seemed like standard guy was not a good kisser and was not someone who I felt could teach me anything new… I started thinking about the pornstar again. I decided yes, why not take a chance and see what sleeping with a pornstar was like? I texted him, he ignored me and that was the end of that. But there was my answer, I would sleep with a pornstar just to see what it would be like.
After another oral sex session with standard, I knew that I would never see him again so I blurted out how I am a phone sex operator. He was intrigued, but I think it gave him some reason to justify why someone who was seemingly so normal would find a random hookup in a different city. His impression of me is mainly based off our sexual encounter and the little that he knows about me, which now included my job as a sex phone operator. I’m okay with this because I will likely never see him again, but it has confirmed to me that I should not disclose this about myself to anyone that I am seriously dating. It is not what defines me and I don’t want to give guys a reason to justify objectifying me.