Would you fuck someone in the adult entertainment industry?

At some point in my career as a phone sex operator I decided to dip my toes into the world of webcam modelling.  It was really just a test and I’ll speak to that in more details in a later post, but basically I was watching my clients interact on webcam mostly. My clients would purchase my Skype ID for a fee and sometimes I would just chat with them if I felt so inclined.  Well there was this one guy whom I chatted to quite frequently and he was nice, and a really normal guy.  I actually found him to be quite attractive too.

Long story short, I was going through a sex dry spell and made the irrational decision to fly out to the west coast to meet him.  We spoke about it for months prior to and he agreed to take the weekend off work to spend it with me.  I really just wanted to have a weekend of physical fun with him and I figured that I wouldn’t get attached because he didn’t stimulate me intellectually.

So I booked the flight and told him that it’s going to happen and he gave me his phone number.  We continued to keep in touch until about a week prior when he stopped responding!  It was clear that he chickened out, which I guess I don’t blame him.  It was my idea to go anyway.  I get why he would freak out a bit.  He didn’t want to hook up with someone whom he doesn’t know and on top of that, works in the adult entertainment industry.  Luckily my trip to the west coast was just a leg in a longer work itinerary.  I didn’t mind being a solo tourist, but I was really horny and was playing with the idea of hooking up anyway.

I created a new online profile looking specifically for an intimate encounter in the west coast.  I got some responses but there were 2 guys that stood out, one was an above average looking guy who seemed really down-to-earth and the other was an incredibly attractive alpha male who was a cocky porn star.  I was very attracted to the porn star, but I was also really intimidated by the fact that he was a porn star.  I played it safe and went with the above average guy, lets call him the standard guy.  And I also kept the pornstar on hold and said I would see him the next night, just in case standard guy flopped.

Standard guy turned out to be very normal, which further supports my theory that normal guys just want to hook up.  We had dinner, went back to the hotel and enjoyed some oral sex.  It seemed like standard guy was not a good kisser and was not someone who I felt could teach me anything new… I started thinking about the pornstar again.  I decided yes, why not take a chance and see what sleeping with a pornstar was like? I texted him, he ignored me and that was the end of that.  But there was my answer, I would sleep with a pornstar just to see what it would be like.

After another oral sex session with standard, I knew that I would never see him again so I blurted out how I am a phone sex operator.  He was intrigued, but I think it gave him some reason to justify why someone who was seemingly so normal would find a random hookup in a different city.  His impression of me is mainly based off our sexual encounter and the little that he knows about me, which now included my job as a sex phone operator.  I’m okay with this because I will likely never see him again, but it has confirmed to me that I should not disclose this about myself to anyone that I am seriously dating.  It is not what defines me and I don’t want to give guys a reason to justify objectifying me.

 

MBA Guy

MBA guy is someone that I worked with and we shared many common interests, namely, gaming.  I never considered him to be anything more than a co-worker. What sparked my interest in him was immediately after I told him that I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, he started showing a keen interest in me.  Once I got the hint that MBA guy was into me, I could not stop thinking about him!

What drove me crazy was that he would flirt with me, grind up on me on the dance floors and then he would not close on me.  There were even nights where I would stay over at his place and he would have me sleep on the couch and then have cuddle sessions afterwards. I knew that he was going away to do his MBA and I knew that he recently broke up with his girlfriend, but I didn’t care.

We eventually hooked-up after a party.  MBA guy and I started making out on his sofa and it soon progressed to his bedroom and we ended up hooking up with each other.  I’m not sure whether it was because I was drunk, but it was the best sex that I’ve ever had up until that point.  He was a great kisser, and had a huge dick. The morning after was not very awkward.  We hugged and I left his place even though he insisted that I stay.

After the hook-up, I made multiple attempts to try to find time alone with MBA guy and/or talk to him.  I was delusional and thought that we could possibly have a long-term relationship.  I never found a single moment alone with him since we hooked-up, even though for weeks I went to every social event with him in hopes that we could find a minute together.  I even tried to call him up and he was respectful but maintained his distance.

When he finally left the city, I was extremely upset.  It was worse than the break-up with my ex-boyfriend because I was convinced at the time that he wanted to be with me but we had to part ways due to him going away for his MBA degree.  I was heart-broken because I truly felt that we could have had something more had he stayed in the city. The good sex definitely made me become even more emotionally invested in MBA guy.  This was definitely a case where I allowed my vagina to fall in love, when the entire time I knew that there was no chance that it would go anywhere.