Growing Sexually

I can tell that volleyball coach is kinky as hell because he’ll do certain things like gently choke me, or suggesting buying toys for me.  Finally, somebody that thinks about sex as a continuous build as opposed to just quick and dirty fun that is short-lived.  Orgasming during sex has always been difficult for me, and I am slowly realizing that orgasms are not all the same.  When I play with myself, I am used to clitoral orgasms with pressure on the pelvis area, which is quite strong.  I’ve experienced mental orgasms that are triggered by sexy thoughts and limited physical stimulation and I think these feel like a body tingle, especially in the breast / nipple area.  Orgasming during sex with penetration and limited clitoral stimulation is just much different.  It’s just not as apparent, and it requires a lot more mental focus, at least for me.  I have to feel like I am fully immersed in the experience and I have to feel comfortable. The orgasm is intense, but because it is intense, it’s hard to tell when the orgasm is over and thus it’s also hard to tell when the orgasm starts, because it’s a really slow build.

People always say that when you have an orgasm, you will know what it is, but with this kind of penetrative orgasm and slow build, it’s difficult to tell when it has started and because of that it’s difficult to recognize it as an orgasm.  When it’s over, it is satisfying, except since it’s a bit of a build and plateau, rather than a few seconds of intense pleasure, it’s difficult to register it as an orgasm.

Volleyball coach is patient with me, tries different things and I think it has really allowed me to grow sexually.  I’ve always been self conscious about riding on top and doing the work.  I will do it and it is enjoyable, but I could never finish or finish my partner this way.  I think not being able to do the work to finish my partner has been something that has perplexed me, and made me think that I’m doing it wrong.  I’d always get tired, and felt that I wasn’t fit enough for that position.  Okay, so volleyball coach has really shown me how to do this position so that he can finish and wow was it a boost of confidence for me!  For the record, the move that seemed to work on him was more of a pelvis thrust movement rather than an up and down movement, and the closer our legs were, the better it was.  Sex continues to get better with volleyball coach, and it’s because he puts my pleasure first.  At first I felt that the pressure to orgasm (because he was trying so hard) was too much, but now I think I’m really enjoying it more.

After a strong sexual connection, I feel this attachment to my partner.  Volleyball coach is still a man after all and he seems to only be able to focus on one thing at a time.  He seemed a little distant earlier in the week, but it was because his work was busy.  I started feeling like I was getting the cold shoulder, but because I’ve been in enough relationships now, I knew this was normal.  He has assured me so many times that he wants to be with me that if he gets a bit busy, I know to let it go.  See, a relationship newbie might pry or “do something” or be passive aggressive about it all, but I know now that a long term relationship needs to be treated a bit like buying a long-term stock.  Sometimes the stock is going down, but most of the time you need to just stop looking at the small fluctuations, otherwise it will drive you crazy.


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