Volleyball coach validates my feelings for him. He texts me everyday and he even calls sometimes. It feels delightful to be with someone in this way. It isn’t an elated up in the sky feeling like I had when I was in some relationship highs, but it feels like a content and stable feeling that fulfills me in a wholesome way. I feel like I’m learning how to love someone in a way that is different than what I’ve experienced in the past.
See, when I am with someone that I really like, I usually get all excited about doing stuff together. Going to festivals together, going to the movies together, and even unconventional things like working out together. I think now that I have more experience and realizing that volleyball coach is really an introvert, it actually makes me see that we really don’t need to engage in all of those activities together. Volleyball coach may never come to one of my bootcamp classes, meet my entrepreneurial friends or go to the spa with me. I think I love the idea of immersing myself in my partner’s life and having him immerse himself in mine, but now I am realizing that not doing this has its own benefits. These are the things that make us unique and what keeps us interesting to the other. It is actually important to have these things that are just your own, because then you can bring that into the relationship.
I think we’re both trying to figure out how much time is an appropriate amount of time to spend with each other given our schedules. I feel that I am more flexible with this now. I too have many things going on in my life that also need nurturing. It is these things that give me a unique identity.
I realize that I can come off as needy sometimes in past relationships. I’m the kind of person that if I’m excited about some new idea, I get really excited and want to immerse myself completely in it. I think he makes it easy to take it slower because he gives me comfort and security in the relationship. This in turn allows me to realize that we have lots of time together and we should cherish what we have rather than to need to do everything immediately.