Making Space to Feel Content

I’ve not felt this content in a very long time.  I’ve been working a lot on my body while being single and it has paid off.  Dating volleyball coach also means volleyball classes every Saturday and I’ve really been enjoying that.  Every time I pass by a mirror, I can’t help but check out how my body is looking ultra sexy.  Since leaving my stressful job, I am feeling a lot better mentally and have more time to focus on other areas of my life.

The one thing that I learned that really paid off has been the concept of creating space.  I spoke before about literally cleaning up and decluttering to create space for better things in life.  I’ve applied that idea to everything.  Everything I do now, I ask the question of how it makes me feel and I’ve learned a lot about myself in doing so.  Cutting out people in my life that I do not necessarily enjoy spending time with.  Spending time with others as just a past time, and not really connecting with them is not a good use of time.  I am now more selective of who I spend time with and how often I spend time with them.

I am so grateful to have met volleyball coach and he makes me feel like we have a high school kind of love.  It is sweet and it is simple and I feel like it is exactly what I needed.  I know that it is really early on, and probably too early to say this, but I think that he might be “the one”.  I mean, why not?  It’s not like I’ve his this feeling with anybody else.

It’s not the feeling of being infatuated or a deeper connection.  It is simply that we are on the same page about where we would like the relationship to go – simple as that.  And we are ready for it.  I mean, imagine if I was still working at my previous job, travelling every month, managing multiple projects that all seemed like they could fall apart any minute.  I would not be ready for this kind of relationship and it would probably deter me to live that kind of lifestyle.

It really has been a long time since I’ve felt this content.  As I was driving home today I was thinking about how much calmer I am.  I felt so much anxiety in my life in the past year, so much need to appease other people and to be wanted in a relationship that was not working.  Right now, things feel so easy and it makes me feel at ease to know that I just need to keep doing what I am doing to see this relationship progress.

It seriously feels so good and refreshing to be with someone that reciprocates my feelings, cares about me, and is openly affectionate.  I’ve spent such a long time being with someone that I was trying to pry open, trying to show them how great I am and trying to convince them that we made a great team.  I was disrespected so many times and had so many doubts about myself because of it.  The one thing that I can take out of the relationship that I had was that at least now I can truly be grateful.  Every time he says that he is so lucky to have met me, I think that I am so lucky to be with someone that thinks he is lucky to be with me.

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