Last week was really busy and so I didn’t end up seeing volleyball coach again until Saturday during volleyball classes. He keeps things casual as I walk into the class. I thought he would be coaching my intermediate class, but he ended up getting the beginners class. I realized that I was relieved because I actually feel quite nervous with him. It’s a good kind of nervous though, but probably not helpful when I’m trying to focus. I could tell that he was planning how to spend the most amount of time together this weekend given our schedules and I love that he is the planner and he is considerate about the fact that I have my dogs.
After class he was asking me if I wanted to go out for food, and I was debating it, but another girl in the class chimed in to say that she’d be up for it. I don’t think she realized that we were seeing each other until we got to the restaurant and volleyball coach was holding my hands, but luckily she brought another friend with her. After lunch we went to our separate homes to shower, walk our dogs and I had to do a bit of work that morning. He came over in the evening and was clearly tired but still tried his best to bring some activity to the evening. We went shopping and held hands the whole time. Volleyball coach affection makes me feel like I’m in high school again. He even sends me kissy emojis.
We got take out for dinner and I paid. It seems he doesn’t like to fight for the bill, but he did voice that he would like it if he paid next time and I agreed. After dinner, we watched some stand-up comedy but things got hot and heavy as we made out on the couch. I felt like it was too early to be intimate with him. I think I’ve become so much more reserved now since my last relationship. I know that sex means a lot to me, and can make me feel attached. It scares me and I told him that we were still just trying to get to know each other. He tried really hard to get with me, but in the end we just made out and he went home. I’m sure he was frustrated, but definitely not disgruntled. He understood and was nice about it. He talked about deleting our dating apps earlier which I brushed off, but I brought it up this time and he was very willing to do it. He said he would see me the next day (Sunday).
Sunday evening, he asked me to come to his place. We went grocery shopping and tried again to get through the same stand-up comedy show, but again things just got really hot and heavy. Being at his place felt more comfortable for me, because I really do feel like my place holds a lot of memories of my past relationship that makes it not feel right for me. We had a little bit of sex, meaning we gave oral and we had sex for a little bit, but I felt uncomfortable and asked him to stop and I finished him off orally. Actually, he isn’t very big, but it feels like it has been so long since I’ve had sex (nearly 6 months) that I just didn’t physically feel ready. It also doesn’t help that the lights were on, all of them! And while I am currently loving my new toned body, I still couldn’t get over the fact that our first time is with all the lights on.
I love that he is great with communication. There are no games when it comes to him, he just a really simple and basic man and that’s exactly what I realize is best for me. He asked me after if I wanted to have kids, if I was willing to move uptown and live the suburbia life. I said yes and it was a simple and easy yes to all of those questions. At dinner afterwards, I asked him questions about our viewpoints on tattoos, past relationships, what our strong personality traits were. I think we really connected in a deep way. I shared about my past relationship with ex-boyfriend which I was in for 4 years and I talked about how I realize that shared values are important. I also shared that communication about serious topics and being confrontational is very difficult for me.
When I got home I texted him to thank him for the lovely night and he said he thought I was amazing. It feels so good to be dating someone that actually reciprocates and addresses the serious thought of where the relationship could go. A man that is straight-forward with what he thinks, able to connect and have serious discussions, and has control over his life. He is a simple kind of man, and the kind that I never would have piqued my interest before.
While I haven’t shut down my dating apps yet, it’s more out of pure laziness than anything. It is so much work just to shut down an account, and it’s not as simple as deleting the app. I’m thinking that I can do it next week and make it a cause for celebration together!
Filipino man has not initiated any conversations with me in over a week, and right now I am too focused on volleyball coach. I have such a good feeling with volleyball coach and I think I just need more time with him to get to know him better and feel more comfortable with him.