I’ve been giving a lot of thought into where sales guy and I are going and how I feel about it all. I noticed that I have taken a backseat on actively looking for someone on dating websites. When comparing sales guy to handsome guy and fitness freak, it seems like he is a better fit of what I am looking for. It was a clear choice for me to close the door on those two other guys, however I am now realizing that coming out on top doesn’t mean that being with sales guy is the right choice for me.
Basically, he’s overweight and it is a huge turnoff. I thought that I could get over the physical thing, but all things considered, he basically just doesn’t excite me in that way. The idea of eventually being sexually intimate with him is daunting. I think the physical bit is not as important, but it’s another story when the person is all round a turnoff. Being shorter, having acne and not having a good face structure in combination with being overweight is just too many things for me to oversee.
I felt like we agreed on many things, that he was mature about relationship things. The one thing that I saw today is what I’m describing as his “fat personality”. He likes to binge eat unhealthy foods regularly and no amount of exercise can really help compensate for this behaviour. He doesn’t like healthy foods and cringed at the green juice that I gave him. It’s just a big clash in lifestyle. I’m not all about eating healthy and being a fitness fanatic, but I do care about my health and I would like someone that shares that belief.
Today I realize that he unnecessarily does nice things for people and displayed one of these behaviours and talked about it too. He seems to be that guy in his group of friends that people can easily take advantage of to be the designated driver, or to do some unwanted task. I don’t want that. I want a strong guy that would stand up for himself and to stand up for me if needed too. He seems like too much of a wuss to do that.
Sales guy volunteered to help assemble some furniture for me today. I hired a handyman, but sales guy definitely put a lot of effort into speeding up the entire process. Though the whole time, I kept thinking that I’d rather fuck the handyman. I thought about another person that I recently met who is similar in height as sales guy, and also a little overweight and I was thinking I’d rather fuck him too.
I want to believe that compatibility is way more important than looks and that chemistry can be something that is developed, which is why I kept going with sales guy but I just don’t feel it. It actually feels really uncomfortable for me and part of me wonders if it’s because I’m simply not ready to be in a relationship or whether this just isn’t the right match. It’s hard to tell.