Taking Things Slower

I’m really starting to like how things are going with sales man.  The progression of our dating life is simple.  There is no need to overthink things with him.  Everything seems to be progressing as I expect it would with a healthy relationship.

As things progress onto the third date, I feel pressure that if things should start to get serious and I really want to take things slowly.  I like checking in with him by way of messages and I like how he reciprocates at the same level.  I just don’t know whether I’m ready for anything to be bang on serious quite yet.

The thought of having sex with someone is very daunting to me right now.  And maybe just the thought of being with another man while being reminded of this past with mystery man is weighing on me.  Sales man says he lives in the same area as mystery man, and I have this fear that he lives in the same building as mystery man.  I don’t know what else to do but to take things slowly.  I don’t think that I can be open about having these reservations so early on.

Mentally, I’ve already decided that the handsome man is not for me, despite my girlfriend saying that it could just be fun to go on a second date with him.  We agreed on something this week, but I have more than half a mind to cancel because we didn’t click on the first date, and his messaging game is weak.

Fitness freak is most definitely a platonic thing.  I called him off from coming over to get high and sleep on my couch.  The last thing I need right now in my life while I am trying to create space is a couch crasher.  I’ve had too many bad experiences with couch crashers.  He is basically friend-zoned and I don’t see that status changing, ever.  He is a bit psychotic.

The effort that I put into getting myself out to different events and into online dating has declined.  I think three guys is a lot, and if I want to meet more people then I’ll need to make the cut and create the space to meet new people.


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