As I’ve gone through multiple failed relationships, I often had the urge to just escape, and just be somewhere else. Aside from travelling, there were many times that I wanted to move out of my condo. So many times I’ve tried to leave by applying to jobs elsewhere, and even looking at other properties to rent. At one time I went so far as to sign a lease and provided documentations to lease a condo across town and closer to work. None of these ideas panned out, and now I am realizing how grateful I am to have this condo.
This condo has hosted everyone in my life from all my love interests, a girlfriend who betrayed me, a couch crashing cousin and now my puppies. This condo and my family have been the one constant thing in my life throughout my many job changes and partners.
At times, it may feel easier to just leave and escape it all, especially when everything seems to be going wrong. When things go wrong, it just seems like it is easier to build from scratch than to continue living and facing the problem everyday. What I realize is that whether I moved away or not, I would still have to make that decision to pull myself away from people who were not making me feel good about myself. I would also still have to pull myself together and decide what I am to do in life.
A temporary escape to another city is a great way to think clearly about the situation, but a permanent move is really not necessary if it really is for the purpose of escaping. I am an example of that and I feel proud of myself that I was able to identify those that I needed to stop associating myself with and do everything that I could to get myself back to being me.
I can say now that I am finally back to being myself, and a stronger version of the person that I was before I was involved with Mystery Man. I am not just content, but I have found my happiness and my self-confidence. I am feeling optimistic these days about most things.