Mystery Man’s Best Friend

Mystery Man’s best friend has been the most insensitive person to me since Mystery Man and I have broken up.  Almost immediately after hearing of our break-up, he messaged me to ask me how I was and to say that he was having dinner with Mystery Man.  I didn’t want to hear or know about what Mystery Man was doing, so immediately was aware that he is now telling our mutual friends that we’ve split.

That same weekend, Mystery Man’s best friend asked me to go shopping for her girlfriend’s Christmas gift.  I figured he wanted to talk to me about the break-up, but he instead showed up with two awkward high school friends of his who did not talk.  I left, and then when I got home, he called to ask to come over to play with my dogs.  I agreed and when he came over, he again made no mention of the breakup.  I figured that I would address the elephant in the room, and he said he knew and then said that I can still come out and pretend that everything is fine.  Absolutely not.  I’m not going to continue to go out, especially with him and his girlfriend on basically what is a double date with my now ex-boyfriend.

I think I never really understood not trying to be friends with an ex-boyfriend, because I admit that I used to think that it could be fine to be friends except I know better now.  It really is hard, especially right after the break-up to pretend and act like everything is okay when inside I feel like I’m broken, inadequate, and feel like they think that I am not good enough for them.  I also feel humiliated.  I’m not saying that I can’t ever talk to Mystery Man again, but at the moment I just need to adjust to the idea that we’re not together that the very least.

Mystery Man’s best friend kept asking me out to events where Mystery Man was also attending.  In reality, I’ve seen Mystery Man just last weekend when he picked up his stuff, and so even though it feels like I’ve been feeling heartbroken for several weeks now I don’t think we’ve really had so much time apart.  I don’t think it has all sunk in for Mystery Man quite yet, and I kind of want it to.  Of course part of me wants him to realize what a mistake he has made and come back.  The other part of me knows that I just need to move on.  Either way, the right thing to do right now is to not talk to or spend time with Mystery Man.

I initially believed that Mystery Man’s best friend was well intentioned and just making sure that I am okay, but the more I think about it the more I believe that he likes me more than just friends.  Whether he’d even admit this to himself or not (considering he has a girlfriend), he has admitted that he thought I was good looking before.  He had asked to crash on my couch before as well.  There’s just too many signs that are making it more obvious that he had some kind of interest in me in that way.  Today when he saw me, the first thing he commented on was my breasts.  It’s completely messed up, but that is what my gut feeing tells me.  The reason why I am even so close to these people is because this best friend brought me closer into this inner circle of friends, including Mystery Man.  I’m appalled at this because Mystery Man’s best friend is in a relationship with someone who I know.  I am not at all interested in him in this way.  The only other reason I can think of is that his best friend is trying to get us back together, which also doesn’t make sense.

The thing is that he keeps saying more and more things to try to convince me to come out with the group of friends, except it sounds so insensitive and in my current state, I am actually hurt by it.  Today he said that I should come out to the events and that by not coming out, I am “acting like the victim” in the relationship.  The previous time, he encouraged me to “win” the break-up by coming back hotter than ever.  I can’t deal and am so thankful that he’s going away on vacation for two weeks.

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