Last Christmas

One year later and it’s like everything is a deja vu.  It’s as if I have the chance to re-do 2016 all over again.  Last year, Mystery Man and I split around the same time and it feels like I have a chance to make better decisions this year.

Work Christmas Party

Last Year – I realize that Mystery Man was starting to pull away from me the week of my work Christmas party.  He was not as responsive to my messages and I knew he was no longer interested but this drove me crazy that he chose to just shut me out.  I got pissed drunk at the Christmas party, was really emotional and I totally spazzed out and told my cousin about it the next day.  Unknowingly at the time, I sparked interest in Baseball Guy at the Christmas Party.   My blog post from last year: Mystery Man, The Full Story (ironically it wasn’t the full story)

This Year – Mystery Man told me that he doesn’t see the relationship working out, and I try to talk it out with him, and convince him to stay.  He packs his stuff and leaves my place, leaving me heartbroken yet again.  I go to my work Christmas party thinking about how lonely and pissed I am, but I don’t get pissed drunk and instead I go home early.  Baseball Guy seems still very interested in me and helped me get in my ride to go home.

The Day After the Work Christmas Party

Last Year – Probably the worst day of my life and definitely a low point that none of my other relationships have ever hit.  Mystery Man shows up at a party with another girl whom he flirts with all night.  I hide out in the hallway trying to get my shit together whilst talking to Baseball Guy on the phone.  I pull myself together and gather enough composure to re-join the party.  Mystery Man and I break-up officially after a long discussion.  I hoped that he would change his mind.  My blog post from last year: Mystery Man Plot Twist

This Year – Mystery Man comes over to pick-up all of his stuff from my place.  He is curt and to-the-point about all of it, though I can tell he is still hoping that I would join the evening group activities- I say no and I asked him for my house keys back.  He asked if I needed him to take care of the dogs – I say no.  I’ve mentally decided to move on from this toxic quasi-relationship, but I’m secretly still conflicted and wish that Mystery Man will soon realize that his life is shit without me and come back.

After the Christmas Party and NYC

Last Year – I call out Baseball Guy because I was feeling down and needed help with winter tires.  Baseball Guy is ready to take me on an all-day date, but I leave early because the stress of Mystery Man is going straight to my stomach.  I go to NYC on a pre-planned work trip, but I feel so sick to my stomach from the breakup stress that I eat nothing, cried in my hotel and just try to keep it together after work.

This Year – I’m leaving my winter tire installation errand for later and I have a pre-planned work trip to NYC.  I’m hoping that the NYC will help take my mind off Mystery Man and mentally decide to do stuff for myself in NYC.

Meeting with my Girlfriend

Last Year – We go to my favourite chain restaurant and I rant to her about Mystery Man.  She asks me why I even put up with this shit and state that he is the worst partner she’s ever seen me with.  My blog post from last year: Worst Partner

This Year – We again go to my favourite chain restaurant and I rant to her about Mystery Man.  She said she thought things had really improved since last year, to which I agreed.  She is intrigued with the story and makes me feel a lot better about the situation and points out my positive traits.

Friends Christmas Party

Last Year – Despite my closest friends discouraging me from going, I just felt like I had to go and act like I was okay after Mystery Man showed up with another girl at the previous party.  Right before the party started, the party host aka Minion Guy tells Mystery Man to bring the girl.  Despite knowing that she was his platonic school friend, I was still frazzled.  I ended up dressing up and going to the party anyway where Mystery Man acted like a friendly stranger to me (and he did not bring the girl).  The blonde girl in the group whom he flirts with often got him as a secret santa and purchased him condoms and called him a man whore… I left the party early shortly thereafter.

This Year – I’m not yet aware of any big holiday parties yet, but I plan on not going if there was one with these group of “friends” whom I am starting to realize are just social acquaintances.

Adam’s Birthday Party

Last Year – I forced myself to go to Adam’s birthday party, even though I’m not so close to Adam.  I didn’t want others to know that I was fazed by Mystery Man.  I go there and Mystery Man shows up with the blonde girl from the group whom he flirts with constantly.  I play passive aggressive and put my drinks on his tab, got really drunk and flirty with Mystery Man and acted like we were still together.  Mystery Man drives me home, but I resist inviting him up.  My blog post from last year: Power Struggle

This Year – I’ve decided that I’m not going to Adam’s birthday party, simple as that.

Christmas

Last Year – Mystery Man and I did not message each other for some time, and finally he caved and during my family Christmas get together he started messaging me to say that he was sad about what happened between us.  This was probably when the breakup finally hit him.  I was an emotional mixed bag, and I agreed to have him over.  I enjoyed the platonic time spent with him at the time and it felt like our time together was so special and fleeting. My blog post from last year: Tough Friendship Journey

This Year – I’ve taken some time off work during Christmas to spend with family and friends.  I imagine that a similar conversation may happen again between Mystery Man and I, and I am unsure how to respond because, at least at the moment, I feel like being friends with him will hurt me more.

Post-Christmas

Last Year – I finally decided that I needed some time away.  Baseball Guy and I started becoming closer, and I decided to give him a chance so I agreed to go on a ski trip with Baseball Guy.  I continued to message and talk to Mystery Man and continued to be emotionally hung over Mystery Man.

This Year – I’ve already decided last year that Baseball Guy and I are not a good match and I won’t lead him on just because I am not with Mystery Man.

New Years Eve

Last Year – I refused to go to a hotel party bash with Mystery Man and our mutual group of friends.  I couldn’t deal with seeing him flirt with others and deal with that anxiety.  Instead, I went on a ski trip with Baseball Guy, but I was still messaging Mystery Man and I asked him to call me over the phone to chat, and he did that.  I checked in on Mystery Man to make sure that he wasn’t stuck drinking and driving on NYE.

This Year – There is yet another new years hotel party bash that I refuse to go to.  I had refused to go to this party even before we broke-up because I think partying in a hotel room with about a hundred other people that I barely know is juvenile and something that I did when I was in school.  Just the thought of this party actually brought back bad memories of the time when Mystery Man and I broke up last year.  I might just sleep through this one, after all, it was quite the year for me.

The New Year

Last Year – I recall going to a social event and then realizing that he would turn up.  I saw him messaging the blonde girl.  I flirt with him, but I also noticed that he was talking to other girls that we don’t know as well and that bothered me.  I ultimately called it quits with Baseball Guy because I was too hung up over Mystery Man, and because he was incessantly doing stupid things to get my attention to the point where I was scared of him.

This Year – I’m not going to flirt with Mystery Man.  We are totally past that.

New Year Fitness Plan

Last Year – The Minion Guy swore to a diet plan in the new year and I liked the idea so I led a fitness plan to support him and also get fit.  I forced Mystery Man to join and although he was initially reluctant, he really liked the motivation.  We worked out together and he allowed me to stay over at his place.  We slept in the same bed together, and while I was enjoying the moment with him, he was trying to establish our “platonic” relationship.

This Year – These friends did not appreciate my efforts to lead the fitness initiative, especially the blonde girl in the group so I’m definitely not doing that again.  Instead, I will be focusing on my own self and have some plans to get some beauty treatments like laser hair removal and coolsculpting.

Spring, Summer, Fall

Last Year – By the end of the winter, Mystery Man and I hooked back up together several times and decided to see whether the relationship could work.  I established key relationship checkpoints where I would just stop putting effort into the relationship and see if he actually continues to come through, and he did.  In retrospect, we did have very good post break-up sex so it is totally not true that our sex life was always bland.  My blog post from last year: Back with Mystery Man

This Year – God, I have no idea what could happen.  At this very moment I admit that a big part of me wants him to have a complete turnaround and say that he wants to commit to me.  I feel like chances of that happening are slim and that it is more likely that he will start looking elsewhere to find this perfect trophy partner of his and I don’t want to stick around long enough to see that process happen in front of my very own eyes.

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