House Boyfriend

The more I think retrospectively about my relationship with Mystery Man, the more resentment I feel about how poorly he treated me.  He really was a “house boyfriend”, which means we really just enjoyed being together at home or at the very most, going out for some dining.  All of the stuff we did was as a group activity with people that we mutually know.  In my mind, I had this illusion that he was actually doing stuff with me except what I didn’t realize was that our alone time was just spent together as companions in a house.  I hate that this is what defined our relationship and now when I think about his unwillingness to do stuff with me alone, it makes me mad.

Then of course, when he messages me to see if I need a ride to our weekly frisbee match, it seems like everything is okay again and he instantly becomes Mr.Right in my mind.  I declined his offer, because really we’ve been away from each other for less than a week.  My main reason for not wanting to see him is because I want him to know what it’s like to not have me in his life.  I want him to know that things will be different.  I still hold onto hope that maybe he will realize the mistake that he has made in leaving me.  I heard and have seen guys who come to this realization shortly after breaking up.

This is exactly what my “cheat sheet” is for however.  After reading through the list of all of the reasons why the relationship was broken, I realize how big of a mental shift would be needed for Mystery Man to come back from all of that.  Also, on my end it’s like I’m going through another heartbreak because of mystery man and given the odds, I’m definitely better off just finding someone that likes me more.  As my friends would agree, it’s just not worth it!  Though as I say that, the irrational side of me still holds onto a little bit of hope that he might just come around.

 

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