Being a Realist in a Relationship

Mystery man and I continue to go strong.  We’re spending more time together these days, and it’s starting to feel like we are living together at times.  Our sex life has improved a lot and it is even better than it was before.  Sex with mystery man has now surpassed all of my past experiences and I have to say that it is maybe one of the best sex I’ve had.  The difference is being relaxed, and focused on my own pleasure.

I’ve always had a hard time reaching orgasm through sex, and I’m now starting to understand that there are different types of orgasms.  I am realizing that a vaginal orgasm is like a wave of pleasure and at least for me, it is not as strong as a usual clitoral orgasm.  And I may not have this completely down yet, but I feel like things are certainly better in the bedroom.

I feel really comfortable with mystery man, and it certainly feels like I’ve known him for much longer than just one year.  While mystery man seems to reciprocate in his feelings for me, and is very caring towards me, I know that he has doubts about where this relationship could go.  He is a realist he says and it seems deeply ingrained in him to be apprehensive.

A close friend of mine, who has met mystery man and seen us together says that having doubt about a relationship is absolutely normal and that being overly optimistic too soon is not good.  Being able to question how things are progressing, and still actively choosing to be together is a sign of maturity.  So maybe it is a good thing, because I like to be the optimistic one.

Despite all of this good progress in where the relationship is going, and despite being the optimistic one, I admit that I do have doubts.  Sometimes I look at him and I’m angry because I can’t forget the things that he has done to hurt me, namely his flirtatious nature.  The other day, I found out that he still has dating apps on his phone (though he doesn’t use them) and I made him delete them.

The minion guy is the worst in instilling these doubts in me.  He most recently asked why we haven’t made things official and come out with us being together.  With our mutual group of friends, we aren’t fully open in the fact that we are seeing each other.  In all honesty, it’s not like we’re hiding it.  We’re just not the type to publicly announce that we’re together.  And mystery man was hesitant to do so because he knew that minion guy likes me.

I feel like minion guy has been out to sabotage the relationship between mystery man and I.  He has been taking jabs at us in a way that is much more cruel than playground teasing.  His most recent actions of asking why we aren’t out and official does have me thinking and again doubting where our relationship is going.  It makes me question whether I deserve more from mystery man, that he should openly acknowledge that I am his girlfriend.

This is exactly the reaction that mystery man is trying to avoid in going public.  And I have to agree.  I don’t want to hear what everyone’s opinion is on us being together and whether they support it or not.  My real friends are supportive of my relationship with mystery man as they see how happy he makes me.  A friend recently commented on how happy I seemed to be.  The thing is that I am happy, and getting mad at mystery man because these mutual friends are pushing my buttons – I shouldn’t have any of this.




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