Mystery man had some hesitation and doubt about the relationship, but now it seems like he’s letting the relationship play out naturally. Aside with being back on board to go to the out of town wedding, he is rather excited about the small things. He seems to be looking forward to the wedding and got excited about possibly renting a nice car. He was glad that I booked a free hotel room for us so that we can be ready for the obstacle course that we were participating in. I joked with the receptionist that it was our anniversary and he had a laugh about that.
I hurt myself at the obstacle course, and was so exhausted from it that I decided to skip out on the evening event with the group. He happily skipped out with me too, although he too was under the weather he expressed joy in just being able to relax with me and not going to the bar more than once. I booked us in for a massage since we were both so sore from the obstacle course, and it was a really relaxing weekday experience. Mystery man is also more proactive in how he helps me. He recently paid a parking ticket for me and he proactively helped me throw out my old table top. He knows that I do a lot for him and he doesn’t hesitate when I ask him to do things like throw out my garbage.
Sex with mystery man is also a lot better. Okay, so we’re not using condoms anymore… and I’m not sure how that started. I was always all about using condoms with mystery man. Then more recently there was a few times where I initiated just sitting on him without a condom, and a few times he decided to take the condom off… and now it’s the norm for us to not use condoms apparently. Condoms were never really the problem with our sex life, if anything the lube on the condoms made things easier. Sex without condoms, once the juices start flowing is actually so much better and so much more intimate.
The sex is so much better because we’re more in tune with each other. So at the beginning we were just fucking and that was fun, and then there was this awkward stage where we were both searching for something more and there was a lot of fumbling. Now, I think we’re getting back into the groove. He realizes that he needs to be more focused on pleasing me first, which makes me more wet and in turn makes me more relaxed for him. I always thought that guys like the whole vaginal clenching feeling, but apparently not. He likes when I’m relaxed. It’s like sex on a whole new level. There’s no more of him furiously thrusting, and I can feel like it is more like we’re both savouring the moment and really feeling each other. I am equating this to making love. We’re making love and it is totally different. Completely different level of feeling.
Consequences? Well, I’m fairly confident that we’re both clean and STD-free. Getting pregnant is a concern, especially because I’m not on the pill. Though I’m a grown woman now, and in the small case that that happens, I will deal with it is what I think. He pulls out or I finish him with oral sex, so chances of that are slim.
And as for making the relationship public… of the few people that I’ve told about the relationship who are our mutual friends… they don’t seem to take it seriously. They say that he’s my boy toy or they calling it a fling. They don’t know him as a guy that settles down, and they don’t think that he is good enough for me – or at least that is how I interpret it. I don’t know exactly, but I don’t like it. This is exactly what I want to avoid by not telling people. I just want to enjoy the perfectness of the moment. Can’t I just have that?