More Commitment, Less Sex

I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about mystery man after I went to visit him mid-week.  It felt like I was intruding on his personal space and then later in the week he started messaging me to tell me how busy he was.  The last time he started getting busy, we ended things because he just couldn’t cope with balancing so many things.  I was feeling insecure about his feelings, but he really did come through to reassure me.

Friday night he messages me to ask me out for dinner.  I asked if he was working late and he said he would try to get out of the office.  Then Saturday morning, he woke up early and just brought his laptop into bed and worked while I slept in.  By the time I got up, he said his colleagues were calling him in so he had to go, but he said that he would make an excuse to leave to come back by dinner.  I can understand that, and I felt good that he was able to prioritize me.  I spent the rest of the day doing what I had to do, cleaning out my place and I made him dinner.  It also felt good to be able to go and have time to do my errands as well.

Sunday, he made plans to go to a clay pottery class with some of our mutual friends, including the girl in the group that I think he likes.  She backed out of the event though.  Mystery man and I went to brunch together, just the two of us and it was nice.  The clay pottery class was a great idea, but there was just too much demand and we weren’t able to get a spot.  Instead we browsed the clay museum together.  His other female friend also came and now she is trying really hard to be my friend.  I’m fine with it, and I’m glad that she is also trying to make an effort with me.

Mystery man and I went home and we snuggled, napped and then went to the gym together.  I am having this really odd severe lower abdominal pain when I work out and I think it was from pulling a muscle the last time I worked out.  Mystery man was really concerned and also helped me rub some ointment on it.  Then we made a charcuterie board with exotic fruits.  It feels so incredibly good to actually do things with mystery man outside of what we usually do!  I want to do things with him, and now we’re finally doing stuff!

He also agreed to go with me to my friend’s wedding, which is about 3 months away and all the way in California.  Now, I think that is a commitment.  We also started talking about him doing a full body exam.  We started to have sex without a condom now, but that area of the relationship is starting to get odd.

He doesn’t seem as interested in having sex with me anymore and he very content with just receiving a handjob.  His sex drive seems to be lower too and I largely will initiate sex with him.  He will manually simulate me and likes to have me sit on him, but I wouldn’t say that we’re having sexual intercourse anymore.  Maybe he’s getting comfortable in the relationship?

I’m getting really good at handjobs.  I’ll give him a blowjob too but what actually gets him off is the hand.  I can see the appeal to it though.  This is how he is used to doing it and it feels familiar to him and gets him off the quickest, it’s clean and it requires the least amount of effort for him.  I’m fine with this sometimes but this is getting to be too frequent in our sex routine.  But maybe a slight change to the sex act could just be a different way of us exploring different aspects of how we can pleasure each other.


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