Weakening Network of Friends

My relationship with mystery man is shifting, as is our network of friends.  Minion guy, who generally leads all of these social activities and spearheads the group is redirecting his efforts elsewhere.   What this means is that the group is just not getting together as often.  I’ve known for some time that this group of friends is kind of superficial for me.  I like them and I get along with them, but it really is more of a good passing of time.  I think that this group of friends means more to mystery man.  Aside from the one girl that I think he has a crush on, he really doesn’t have a close connection with many of these people, but I think he does like the group mentality.  He enjoys just getting together and doing something fun, getting out and trying new things.

I can tell that he is trying to keep the group together.  He is organizing events, which he never did before.  He talks about turning the group around and not getting stuck in a rut and doing the same thing such as just getting wasted every weekend.  I am very much supportive of this, and he has good ideas too.

On the other hand, the group falling apart is I think one reason why mystery man and I are getting closer together.  There are a few reasons why this is.  Firstly, the minion guy who originally had a crush on me had this passive aggressive attitude towards mystery man and I being together.  With the minion guy out of the picture, mystery man is a lot more open about our relationship.  Most recently he openly accepts my affection in front of others, and he openly stayed back at my place after everyone left.  He’s open about us coming and going to social events now too.  I’ve always hated the charades of pretending that we aren’t together, and it was mainly for the sake of minion guy.  I also felt uneasy and insecure about mystery man using my downtown place just to get to social events with the group, but now I feel more at ease realizing that he does come down to see me.

Secondly, I think there is more distance between mystery man and the other girl in the group whom I think he has a crush on.  I’ve always felt uneasy about mystery man’s crush on this other girl.  This other girl is in a relationship with someone else in the group though I find that mystery man and her flirt a lot, which bothered me.  So Minion guy and this other girl are quite close too, and he has recruited her to be part of his new social group.

Finally, I think mystery man is coming to realize that he and I share something deeper than this group of friends, and that our relationship is beyond this social group.  There are friends that come and go, but we have a lot in common and we want to do a lot of similar things.  I’m becoming a bigger part of his social life and he is realizing that he enjoys being with me more than not being with me.  We make our lives easier and more enjoyable.

That said, I want to keep this group alive because it is important to mystery man.  It is a huge part of his social network and his life.  He needs something to keep him busy, and his entire social circle can’t just be revolving around me, not to say that it is.  I don’t see that he has many close friend.  And I enjoy having fun with this group at times too.

Aside from mystery man being closer to me due to the distancing of this group, it also means something else to me.  In a way it makes me feel free.  When mystery man and I split up, I felt obliged to continue coming out to social events with this group because I like them and I didn’t want to lose that even though it was hard for me to face mystery man.  If we split now, it would be different because I just wouldn’t see him.  It would make it easier for me to split from mystery man, and that’s a good feeling because at times I felt stuck having to see him even though things weren’t working out between us.  Now it feel like when we see each other, it is by choice.  We see each other because we choose to spend time with each other, not because we are part of the same group of friends.


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