So, I’ve been dating mystery man on and off for some time now and he rarely ever goes down on me. I’m thinking he has probably gone down on me less than five times while I’ve given him oral countless times. Oral sex on him is just part of our normal sex routine, and if I’m not feeling like it, I’ll just give him a blowjob. I’m starting to think that he is put off by my vagina.
I’m starting to think that maybe my vagina smells bad to him. I do notice that there is a smell to my vagina, but I always figured it was normal. I only started becoming more conscious of it a bit recently when I think the scented soap from the hotel I was staying at has been irritating me. I thought I was just ovulating, but I think the extra discharge was my body trying to clean itself. The extra discharge and fluids made sex really wet, and you’d think that was good, but if it’s too slippery there is no friction and then it’s not good for either partners. It was also a little itchy down there. I’ve since purchased a pH balancing soap for my lady parts and have started taking a probiotics to help with the balance.
I never really thought about the lack of oral sex before. I figure it was just not something that he liked to do or that he was just kind of selfish and lazy in that regard. But the recent events have made me feel really self-conscious. Is my vagina not balanced (i.e. the good bacteria and yeast is not in good balance) and that is causing a strange smell, or is my natural vagina smell just off-putting?
I guess the smell of my own vagina has never been something that I thought smelled good, but I figured that was normal. I didn’t think it was horrendous. I bathe and shower every day and am overall hygienic. I go for annual check-ups and test for STDs and I’ve always been STD-free. None of the doctors have mentioned any issues with my vagina before, but I think now I’m curious enough that next time I get a pap I would ask them whether my vagina smelled like it was out-of-balance.
Well, one good thing about having had multiple sexual partners before is that I can compare sexual experiences. Aside from a few very short-term partners who were more reluctant to deliver oral sex, probably because they were selfish or felt it was dirty on someone they didn’t know very well, I’ve not had longer-term partners been reluctant to go down on me. They were all very willing, and I never orgasmed from oral sex before but it was a good way to get me going, especially if I wasn’t in the mood. Come to think of it, mystery man also doesn’t suck on my nipples very much so I feel like there could be a correlation there. Maybe he doesn’t think these foreplay things are are necessary or are important and he’s going straight to the stuff that delivers the most pleasure? Who knows.
While I am vocal about what I like in bed, I find it difficult to ask him to go down on me, because I feel like he doesn’t enjoy it. I feel like it is one of those things that would be better appreciated if a request did not have to be made. I’ve also thought about asking him whether he enjoys it, but of course I feel like that would be too awkward. Do I really want to know it if he doesn’t enjoy it? It’s a rather difficult thing to discuss. I’d be mortified actually if he told me he didn’t like the way I smell. It wouldn’t matter if it was on me not taking care of that area or on him for not liking my natural smell; it would be too much of a hit to my ego.
When it comes down to it, not receiving oral sex is not a huge deal in terms of sexual experience, because I can’t get off just receiving oral and there are other things that I like much more. What is at the core of this issue is that I don’t feel like I am appreciated when I don’t receive oral sex and it makes me lose confidence in bed. Huh, that’s really what I should say to him isn’t it?