So I back off on the initiating with mystery man after this cottage trip and although I didn’t put in effort, nothing felt any different in our relationship. It continued trotting on and he actually came around and became more affectionate. I like this new side of mystery man that is coming out and this new revelation makes me feel all the more secure about where we are at. This is exactly what I wanted.
I initially kept my messages with him short and curt. He continued to message me throughout the week, initiating almost every single time. I had developed a rash after our trip to the cottage and was quite concerned about how it was getting worse. He urged me to go to the doctor and luckily he did because it turned out to be bed bugs! I was a little frazzled about that, but we continued to message and compare notes on what our marks looked like. He asked me when I was back in town and even offered to make me food because I wasn’t feeling well.
There weren’t any group events this weekend and he said that he was busy with some family stuff so I was ready to just skip out on seeing him. He said he was tired from working late on Friday too. So, I go home and immediately head out to a party with friends despite feeling exhausted. He messages me and says he’s downtown at his sisters and wants to see me after. He comes and picks me up at my party and we go back to my place together.
He wants to see how I am doing, talk to me and asks about whether my rashes were getting better. He shows me his favourite websites. He is affectionate and touchy. When we went to bed that night, he kissed me a lot and we made love (not the usual fuck)… it was different in that he was much more affectionate and he really wanted us to cum together. He was really insistent. I enjoyed some time on top but I couldn’t cum and because we went on for so long he didn’t either… so it was a bit of a disaster. Eh, but we tried, right?
Next morning, I give him a blowjob/handjob combo, and it took him a really long time to cum. I’m not sure what was going on, maybe something was on his mind. But despite the sexual part coming up a bit short, he continued to be very affectionate towards me. We stayed in bed cuddling for hours and we just joked and chatted. Our cuddling game is ah-mazing! He offered to help me with laundry as my place was a disaster. I was trying to clean everything after the bed bug scare.
He agreed to go to this brunch place that I suggested, and he insisted on paying. This has been kind of new since we got back together he has insisted on paying when we go out. We’re not pretending that we’re not a couple when we go out for brunch and it feels really good to not have to play charades. We kissed so many times at the brunch place, well, I kind of initiated that but he played along too. As he left for his family activities, he left most of the stuff that he was supposed to pick up at my place and said that he would get them another time. He’s leaving reason to come back over and I’m perfectly okay with that.
I feel like I am seeing a softer, more affectionate side of him. I think maybe because he knows that he has been neglecting me during the cottage trip, or rather, that he felt that he had to neglect me during the trip because we’re not open about the relationship. There are complications with coming out with being together, because there is the minion man who kind of leads this social group and he has a crush on me. He has been clear on not wanting to ruin relationships within this social group and so we’ve been keeping it under wraps. I’m indifferent about it, I can see both sides here although I don’t enjoy the charades of pretending that we aren’t together.
I’ve learned a lot from seeing the baseball guy. He became this entirely different person who was self-centred and belligerent when he was infatuated by me. That really scared me away, but I came to realize that I am also a different person when I am infatuated. I’m this giddy, sometimes jealous person that becomes consumed by the person that I am infatuated with. Mystery man jokingly described me as being callous sometimes, and I don’t think it’s inaccurate. Sometimes I am callous towards others when I become really selfish and focused on being with mystery man. I don’t want to be baseball guy. I want mystery man to see me for me and not this crazy person that is infatuated with him. So, I don’t see it that I am playing games with him, I think I’m just self-adjusting myself so that we are at the same level as each other. I want to show him the real me, and not this crazy girl that is infatuated with him.