Are Grand Romantic Gestures a Thing?

I’m not so sure about mystery man.  I’m having doubts about how invested he is in this relationship.  This comes shortly after I’m giving a speech to my cousin about how each man comes with his own flaws, and it is her choice as to whether it is something she can live with or not.  I am now asking myself the question of whether I can be with someone like mystery man.

I always fall for the men who are ambitious in their careers, and mystery man is no different.  He has been so busy with his career as it has picked up recently and I see him struggle to balance his social life and fit me in.  I do see that he tries hard to find time to spend with me and at times he has reprioritized to put me first.  If I ask for help he will always agree and will eventually come around to assisting me.  What I find difficult to deal with is him not being able to disassociate his work stress at times when he is with me.  I can most certainly relate to this, but it just happens way too often.  Can I live with this?  I can be supportive of what he wants to achieve in his life, as long as he is able to show his commitment to me.

I’m unsure of his commitment to me, and I’m trying to be patient with the development of this relationship.  I do notice that I’ve started to introduce him to my extended group of friends.  I want him to do the same, but it seems like this opportunity hasn’t really presented itself yet.  It’s like I’m expecting some kind of grand gesture from him, but maybe that’s unrealistic and completely out of his character?  He continues to show his commitment to me through his gestures and actions, but I sometimes question whether he is doing enough to actively pursue me.

What about the ultimate “do nothing” test?  I’ve written about this before.  Do nothing, and see what happens.  Well, this one is different because we have so many mutual friends that are very socially active.  If I did nothing, we would still see each other at these events.  If I stopped going to these events, which I have tried to skip out on a few, he does actively ask me to join.  He comes home with me after these events and invests the extra time to grab brunch with me and sometimes skips out on work to hang out at my place, which may include going on a walk together.  Even if I skip the events, he still comes home to me on the weekends.  But really, is that enough?  Does that really pass the “do nothing” test or is this a passive romantic friendship?  Then I ask myself what are my expectations, really?  What grand gesture am I really expecting here?  Maybe the repeated gestures of coming over to spend time with me is real life.  It most certainly surpasses what most guys who were not as serious about me have done for me.

Is it really unrealistic of me to expect something more?  What if this is just the type of man that he is?  A down-to-earth, realistic type of man.  Maybe it’s unrealistic, and maybe I just need more patience.  This is a good start, considering we’ve been seeing each other for only a few months.





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