Two Years Later, He E-mails

It was about two years ago that I started this blog, and one of the main reasons was because I was coming out of an unfulfilling relationship with someone who could not commit, the traveller.  In short, I asked him where things were going and he deflected the question.  I hoped for him to at least find enough reason to openly discuss it with me, but he never did.  This was one of my first struggles with dating after coming out of a long-term relationship.  I was heart-broken at the time, and I didn’t see it coming, although in hindsight I probably should have.

Today, the traveller e-mailed me and said that he was in town and wanted to catch-up over coffee.  I was completely taken back by this e-mail that seemed to come out of nowhere!  I’m not opposed to having coffee with him, and it could be interesting but I also wonder what his motives are.  Maybe it’s a simple chat, or maybe he’s lonely and looking to hookup.  I gave it some thought and decided to politely decline.

We had a lot of chemistry while we were together, but it was just so unfulfilling because we did not want the same things.  I’ve considered the possibility that he may have changed his mind about trying things again, but I am absolutely not for that at all.  Now that we are not together, I am able to see many of his flaws that I just cannot live with.  I have more experience under my belt now and I am confident with my choice.

I’m probably in one of the best place mentally in a very long time.  I feel stable, secure, and confident.  I’m currently vested in mystery man and things are going well.  This relationship that we are in is one where I feel that I’ve maintained the most amount of independence.  I’m not sure whether that is because I no longer have the weight of my studies (I’ve completed my post-graduate studies now), but that’s also another plus in my life.

I’m posting about this because I thought it was kind of a fun story that brings my blog full circle almost.  I think it could be perfect if at some point I could end this blog.  I mean, I don’t intend on being single and blogging about it forever.  I’d like to move on to a new chapter in my life.  I want to blog about real relationship progress, moving in together, planning a wedding, maybe even having children together.  It’s not like I want to give myself a deadline, but I have heard that setting a personal goal to be in a committed relationship is not a bad thing.

In my blog description, I describe myself as being in my late twenties.  Well, I have about 10 months until my big milestone thirtieth birthday.  I want to be in a real committed and loving relationship before this milestone.  One where I can feel secure in, and where I can see us getting engaged and married in the next year or so.  I can honestly say that I have not felt like I was at this level in any one of my relationships after breaking out of my four year relationship, which was now almost four years ago.  I think I can tell the difference now between what is a wholesome relationship and a flimsy kind of relationship that could fall apart any moment.

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