I don’t see him for a fortnight, and then I find myself right back into the same routine with him. He’s been busy with work, and I’ve been using the time to do the things that make me feel like a whole person. I appreciate that he’s trying to spend time with me, and has even gone out of his way to go on a walk with me. It was sweet really and we even found a little greenhouse to explore.
Nearing the end of the night, he started getting really stressed out about his work, and became really aggravated. I find it such a turn-off when men aren’t able to separate themselves from their work and bring that stress into the relationship. While I am supportive of his work, and think it’s great that he’s passionate about what he does, I just find it draining. As he left, I just felt drained and maybe partly because I was trying to compensate by trying to offer advice. It felt like we both needed to re-charge.
But, maybe that’s normal. Even though I do need time to re-centre myself, I absolutely enjoy every moment that we spend together. And so, that’s the thing… because I do enjoy it so much I find myself just cherishing every fleeting moment as if it could be our last. I think I’m jaded by my past relationships. What if the right thing to do is actually to just stop over analyzing things to actually be able to enjoy it for what it is? What if I made the assumption that things will work out?
If I made the assumption that things will work out, I probably would come across as being more put together. I mean, assuming that every cuddle, hug or kiss could be our last is probably not normal and puts me across as being a little needy, despite my efforts to be cool about it. Not to mention that making the assumption that things will work out would put a lot less pressure on me. I think I like this idea, and I think I should continue to strive to understand what it is that I am able to do to give back to the relationship. What I mean by that is not just the menial tasks and things that I do, I actually mean how I can best compliment my partner and make them a better person.