Mystery Man is Toxic

I started off the day with a knot in my stomach. This mystery man ordeal has me stressed out. Do I want his approval? Do I just want his physical contact? The thought of him being with this other girl has me feeling insecure. It’s not that I feel threatened by her, it’s this innate feeling that he has abandoned me for her.

I don’t need any of this in my life. He’s this toxic person that I just don’t need to make me feel like shit about myself. I spoke to a male coworker of mine, let’s call him baseball guy. I had confided in him about mystery man and today I told him about how mystery man flirts with me and how awkward it was for me to meet this other girl.  Baseball guy is a few years older and he helped me realize that mystery man is just too young and immature and is just basking in his youth.

He’s right, and he seems to also be interested in me. We’re going to go see a baseball game this weekend! Physically he’s not my type, but the chemistry is good. He’s not like me in many ways, but I guess something different could be good. I have no qualms about dating a coworker. I really don’t. Finding a life partner is much more difficult than finding another job.

Speaking about physical attraction, another guy from the social group asked me out. Let’s call him the minion guy. I have no physical attraction towards him, but we definitely connect. It’s difficult because I feel like I could be leading him on. Not to mention that he’s from the same group as the mystery man.

Minion guy asked me out to play poker and it went so well that he immediately asked me out again right after the date. I like this responsiveness, but I know that I can’t do this. His physical appearance, and my connection to mystery guy is too close.  I do enjoy him, but I feel that I just can’t.

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