Finally grasping on to some sense of control in my life recently has been great and I feel like a completely new person. It must show in my confidence level and ability to dedicate more time to my social life and I find that wholesome men are all over those two things. I’ve ditched the online dating completely now.
Things are going slowly with the blood guy, so I’ll have to scope things out but overall it is still positive. As guys show interest in me, I am now more cognizant of their intentions with me. Several male friends have shown interest in me recently and I know that their intentions with me are not as wholesome as that of the blood guy. I’m still keeping him first on my list, however I’m still not completely sure on my choice to settle down, which is what I’m sure he wants to do with me.
I mentioned that time and time again, I have always picked the man that is afraid of commitment and prefers excitement, which in turn has excited me in the past. I am inclined to pick the blood guy, because just this once I want to get it right… but I’m just not sure if I’m ready.
I do still think back to socks jock, and it’s not often that I have regrets but part of me wishes that my life was a “choose your own adventure” type deal and that I could flip back and see how things would have gone if I had pick the other guy. For the sake of this post, I will call him the hippie guy, although I’ve mentioned him in a previous post. I wish I could have flipped back to see what my life could be like had I chosen the hippie guy.
I don’t have feelings for this hippie guy, but I think I could have developed them over time. We instantly connected and every time we spoke, I did feel that there was something there except that he did not seem to be my type with his god awful fashion sense that makes me cringe and his long grown out hippie hair. And that is the one regret that I had about the socks jock relationship, except I know that had I chosen that I would have had regrets about not seeing where the socks jock relationship would have gone.