It’s official, socks jock and I are breaking up. Present tense because I’m blogging as it’s happening. It’s the middle of the work day. I provoked it, but it was inevitable. I can happily say that there has been no crazy involved and I don’t intend there to be any crazy. I told him that I still feel that he isn’t trying. He finally admitted that he doesn’t want a romantic relationship with me.
It really shouldn’t be a surprise to me. I’m more experienced than that. I should have known from his attitude. Also our age difference made things more difficult. He’s telling me all these things like he didn’t mean to lead me on. I have no doubt that he ever did want to lead me on. I think that I realized before him that he wasn’t as into it.
He thinks I’m his soul mate. I think he’s naive. I do wonder if he’ll find someone he’ll be more passionate about than me. I think he’s naive because he’s young. I’m not his soul mate. I just know what men want better than the younger girls he’s been dating.
But really, I should have known better. He always treats me with respect, but in the dating world I’ve been treated better. My frustration with him has only grown. I know that I could do better, but the time we did spend together was so amazing I needed to see it to the end.
I’m devastated yet again and now I really have no reason to stay in this city. The heart break stuff really never gets any easier, but the way that I deal with it definitely does. The last thing that I want is to have an emotional shit show of a break up.