I don’t know much about lesbian relationships, but what I’ve heard about them is that they can move really quickly, because that’s what women do. It’s as if I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not in a lesbian relationship and that I need patience, something that I lack. So here’s the thing, now that I’m in a relationship and decided that I really like him, I start getting these great ideas about all the things that I want to do with him.
I want to go on all sorts of crazy adventures with him. I want to do photoshoots, make funny videos together, try different kinds of food, travel together, live together etc. I want to experience the joys of life together. Then it hits me that we’ve only been together for 6 months. Holy shit, I need to tune down the crazy.
Things are going well and I don’t want to ruin that with my impatience. I’ve decided that I prefer being in a relationship and would rather not redo the whole Four Man Plan again if I don’t have to.
See, I would think that the whole distance relationship would naturally slow things down, but nope, it’s all mental. I caught myself suggesting we live together twice! I’m not even sure that I want to live together… I’m just so caught up in everything and having these eureka moments followed by verbal diarrhea moments… It’s enough to scare any man away.
The trap that I get into is when I start thinking that a boyfriend must fulfill a basic requirement, and that it is his “job” as my boyfriend to do certain things. Although unspoken, I expect him to have a general idea of what ia going on in my life, make contact with me regularly… and then thats when the snowball of expectations happens. I expect him to invite me out, take me out for my birthday, spend Christmas with me, etc. Until things get out of hand.
But really, that’s just the extras. I’m getting frustrated with the extras and should probably focus on the more important thing which is whether he enhances my life overall. A relationship is dynamic, unique and whatever you decide to make of it. These unrealistic expectations and frustration that comes along with it is not what I need. More on that later.