The ultimate goal of The Four Man Plan and dating, in most cases, is to find the 3.5, or in other words, the steady boyfriend with potential to be more. I think that I may have just found just that in the socks jock. I don’t think that my journey was a typical journey and it certainly was not as explicit as most of the stories shared in The Four Man Plan book.
The biggest challenge for me was to continue to tell him that I was open to seeing others when I really was just interested in dating him. How I got around this was to tell him that my online dating profile was still up and that I would only take it down when asked by someone who would agree to also delete their profiles. This bugged him that my profile was still online and he eventually got me to delete my profiles with the implication that we were dating exclusively. I just can’t be really explicit and so I felt that this worked well for me.
A huge turning point in my dating life was when I realized that the quality men out there were not enticed by sex, but they are looking for a deeper connection. The socks jock was really deterred by being objectified by women for sex, which I didn’t think was possible for a man… but I get it now. He’s a good looking guy that is seeked by women, and their forward approach scares him. I think that even just 6 months ago, I would have been one of these women that deterred him. The experience that I gained while dating has really helped solidify my understanding of what men want and allowed me to really understand him.
So now that I have a 3.5, aka a steady and exclusive dating relationship, I honestly don’t feel like this is the end of the journey. It’s a new beginning. I know there will be obstacles… the first one being him moving about an hour and a half drive away for school. I also have never seriously dating someone that is so attractive, not of my own race or several years younger than me.