When I was newly single I was lost, but I decided that it was the perfect time to explore all of the things that were not available to me when I was in a relationship. These things all fell within three general buckets: travelling, dating and sex. When I met the traveller, I thought I could have it all with him. I envisioned a future of falling in love with him, travelling to different places and having wild and kinky sex. Even after we broke up, I continued to search for this ideal. It was not until I had more dating experience and started reading Mars and Venus on a Date (written from the same author as Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus) that I realized that these three things; travelling, dating and sex were not a package deal. Apparently it’s not the same as going to a travel agent and asking for flights, hotels and rental cars in one booking.
Firstly, I thought that dating and exploring sexuality intuitively went hand-in-hand. Reflecting back on my recent dating blunders, these two things really don’t go together. The reason is because I was dating for the purposes of falling in love. Apparently when dating for the purpose of finding love, it is a crucial to hold off on the sex according to every single dating book ever written. And, it makes sense because dating for the purposes of finding love is all about the journey, getting to know the person and finding a deeper connection outside of physical attraction. Engaging in sex too soon shortens that bonding period that’s supposed to lure the men into investing more into the relationship. I want to stress that the problem is not in the woman allowing the man to have sex too soon, but it’s that a man likes to think that he worked for it. A man that doesn’t work for it feels guilty after sex, either that or he dismisses it quickly. The furthest thing from his mind after having sex too soon in a dating relationship is that he might be falling in love. Okay, I’m speaking in generalities here, and I’m sure there are exceptions, but who am I to be looking for the exceptions? I’m going to play my odds, because I want to win.
To be honest, I’m not sure where travel fits in yet, but if dating and sex don’t go together then why complicate things with travel? I think my point is that I needed to explore these three things separately before they can come together.