I’ve been on this dating plan for several weeks now and although the premise of the plan seems like a sound one, things have just not been working out very well. After writing down some of my recent thoughts about what worked and what didn’t, I decided that it was time to change things up.
Firstly, the two date minimum rule… I get why it exists and I’ve followed this rule and have learned from it, but I feel that I’ve now earned the right to ditch this rule. My first impressions of compatibility is usually a good judgement and I would rather give the benefit of the doubt than a mandatory second date.
I thought it would be a good idea to add a few additional requirements after examining my recent dating failures. The one glaring thing that stood out was that I always ended up with men that had problems with committing and this was probably due to their life situation. I also usually dated men who were around my age. I figured that this was a good sign that dating someone older could be a good experience. This could also be good because they may have more experience in the bedroom.
I started to get a negative vibe from my apartment and I know that this was because I was bringing men home, and probably too early on. I needed to reclaim this space as my own and vowed that I won’t bring men back to my place until I felt that it could go somewhere. This would probably also slow things down physically as there’s just an expectation when a man is invited over and this will also weed out the ones that don’t have a proper living arrangement as they will have to invite me over to their place instead.
The third requirement is to go with the flow more often. There has been more than one man that I’ve dated that has stopped dating me when I turned down their idea for our next meet up. Going forward, if I feel like it’s going somewhere, I won’t turn down the idea or try to reschedule unless I had a real legitimate reason. If I like him I won’t play games, which I admit to doing in the past. (I would pretend that I’m a lot more busy than I actually was.)
So that’s it. I started by joining a few social meet up groups that were for people who are 30+. More updates to come!