I’ve had an emergency fuck in my back pocket since I was in high school. An emergency fuck is a guy that would be willing to fuck you should there be some kind of dire need for you to require this service. My emergency fuck is tall, with blue eyes, and has only on rare occasions left the city. Although I have never yet been in a situation in which I have needed an emergency fuck, I know that he would be a good emergency fuck. He would maintain emotional distance, he’s not long term material and he has regular practice on other women.
My emergency fuck does give me confidence, I admit. We have a casual friendship, and every so often I turn up the flirtiness. I don’t feel bad because he’s a man whore, he gets pussy often enough and he is the least bit interested in a relationship with me. An emergency fuck is not like a friends with benefits, no. It is like the fire extinguisher that would likely never get used but should be in working condition, for emergencies.
In a very similar way, dating multiple people is also a safety net. It is the equivalent of dating insurance in that there is something to fall back on. As I made the decision to only date one man, I was essentially saying, “No thank you, I don’t need the insurance. If things go wrong, I will just crash and burn!”. I started to feel extremely vulnerable, especially because he had not yet committed to date me exclusively. I realized that I needed to get reinsured, and quickly too.
The insurance, in other words, the other men that I would date would be only a consolation for any dating heartbreak, but that is probably better than nothing. And in the event that all goes well then it would be like the fire extinguisher or the emergency fuck, that is there for the purposes of security and confidence only.