The Four Man Plan: Week 1


The main principle of the Four Man Plan by Cindy Lu is to date multiple men while maintaining sexual exclusivity. She developed what is called a mantris with different values for the men depending on the intimacy level. Each of the squares on the graph represents 0.25 or a quarter. The values represent the intimacy level with that man and the point is not to get too attached to any one man until he asks to be exclusive and both parties agree.  I was determined to follow this plan since my usual dating tactics was not working out so well for me.

When I first started the plan, I wasn’t sure on how to value the traveller because he hadn’t responded to my question about being exclusive. I knew that he was important to me so I put him at a value of 1.  Then I followed the plan guides and tried to collect additional men as quarters to fill up the rest of my graph.

These guys were guys that I’ve met for dating or already know because we were coworkers or friends. I counted everyone who I had a crush on or who I thought could have a crush on me. I was determined to get my mind off of the traveller.

Dating was starting to become fun again for me because of the plan that I put myself on. An interesting thing that happened during week 1 was when I decided to hit on the Asian fetish guy. Asian fetish guy was not Asian but he had an unusual appetite for learning about Asian culture. I met him through a friend and he walked me home after a night of drinking. He also added me in his phone and texted me photos from our outing so I  thought, why not? He turned me down and said that he was not in a financial position to date. He was too broke to date essentially. I thought that this was funny; not because he was broke but because it was an answer that I didn’t expect. It was all good. I was just having fun with this dating get thing for once.

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